32aaa's surrounded by a field of 34d's...

[Boobless]

I know it is a horrible thing, but I used to wish I had breast cancer. I always thought at least that way I would have an excuse for why I had no boobs and people would have no reason to judge or look down on me. I kept waiting for my chest to blossom up until my early 20's when I knew all hope had faded. I was stuck with horrible 32aaa's that where so disproportional to my pear shaped figure I honestly felt like a boy and definately less of a person. I wore chicken cutlets to try and hide the fact that I was flat chested, but even at that I barely filled out an A cup. People would ALWAYS make comments to me about how I had absolutely no boobs and I would think to myself, if you only knew I'm wearing padding to boost these things up a size you'd really be disgusted. I would always wear baggy clothes and only buy swimsuits with removeable liners in them so I could fit maximum padding in. As a teenager I often thought about killing myself because the constant embarrassment and ridicule (from my friends alone) was too much to bear. I remember several horrible situations being at sleepovers and stuff where girls where showing each other their breasts or trying on eachothers bras and stuff where I was forced to explain why I wouldn't do it. Honestly not a day went by or hardly an hour in the day when I didn't think about it.

When I met my husband, Andrew, at 16 he was my first sexual partner. Not that I didn't garner any male attention, but because I wouldn't allow anyone to get close to me because I felt like a freak. Not wanting to have to deal with the thought of rejection or disgust I pushed myself full force into the relationship thinking nobody else would ever want me. Never mind that it wasn't the right thing to do. Now, 10 years later we are getting a divorce and I'm 26 years old and starting from scratch. My husband has cheated on me at least twice that I know of and one time that I am pretty sure. I knew it was time to leave and do something for me. Time to get boobies!

I had originally started looking at breast implants around 2005, but heard so many horror stories that I talked myself out of it. It was actually the new cohesive gel implants that convinced me. I started reading everything I could on the internet and talking to people I know who had gotten boob jobs. I finally booked a consultation appointment with my PS. It wasn't until a few months later so I had nothing but time to research some more and look at MILLIONS of before and after pictures. I lived, slept, and dreamt boobs the whole time.

The day of the consultation came. It was actually moved up a month because of a cancellation. My boss was very accomodating about the whole thing. I think she looked at this whole thing as amusing. She didn't understand my plight as she has very large breasts. In fact she was one of the people who constantly made comments about my lack of breasts. She would often tell me her 11 year old daughter had a bigger chest than mine and make comments about fellow coworkers with no breasts that maybe they should get implants too. People who have breasts, even a full A cup or a B cup really don't understand what it's like to have absolutely nothing!

After being phsyched the whole time having this idea in my head that I'm going to go in there and try on all these sizers and pick out boobs I find out that because of my freakish chest wall that sticks out on one side (who knew) and the small diameter of my chest and complete lack of tissue for coverage there were really only 2 anatomical cohesive gel implants my dr was willing to do and they were 280 MM and 295 MF (I picked the latter even though they looked the same to me because I figured it has more projection). I went home and cried my eyes out. I couldn't believe that my small boobs were preventing me from getting bigger implants!

It seems like forever, but before I new it July 18th came and went and here I am with boobs. The surgery itself was pretty uneventful (to me anyway). All I remember is showing up there with my dad completely calm and not nervous at all (mostly just hungry lol). I got put in a waiting room to put a gown on and read magazines until I met with my PS and anesthesiologist who let me know the rundown of the surgery. I don't remember being knocked out only waking up after it was all over and not being able to breath! I tried to sit up because my throat was so sore and dry from the endotrachial tube that I felt like I was suffocating and I couldn't talk. The nurse kept trying to get me to lay down, but I was freaking out. She wouldn't bring me any damn water! Then after like 10 minutes (could be an hour hard to say I kept going in and out of sleep) she asked me how I was doing at which point I squeaked out in some kind of puberty voice that I need water.

Now here I am 4 days later. My boobs are rock hard and look like torpedos with big pointy pink nipples, but even as they are right now they are better than what I had before and I know they are going to drop and be the gorgeous boobs I've always dreamt of. The happiest moment of my life so far was when I went to Walmart to try and find other sports bras to wear while I washed my surgical bra and fitting into a 36C cup. And I know as they drop and fluff they can even get bigger. I have no swelling right now so I'm hoping I stay a full C or even a small D. (Hey a girl can dream!). It's hard to explan what this does to your confidence, the horrible insecuritys it cures instantly. Like all the years of heartache before didn't happen. No more worrying about how you're going to cover up your lack of chest when you go get x rays, go swimming, get a physical exam, wear pyjamas, have sexual encounters... It is the best thing I've ever done and I recommend it to anyone who's suffered having a small chest.

Now here comes the interesting part....I have this "friend" we'll call him and I REALLY like him. He's the first guy I've gone on a date with ever since highschool and I think he's going to be my first post BA sexual partner (friend with benefits lol). I absolutely can't wait to be able to have sex with someone and not be self conscious about my chest. Wish me luck ladies!

[HappyC]

That is an awesome story and I say enjoy your new confidence! I am a small A (have just a little) and know what you mean about others not understanding how demeaning it can be to not have breasts. I too, had a boss that was huge and would rag on me in front of my coworkers. I still think it was because I am thin and she was just jealous, but it still hurt. Wearing a bikini means constantly looking down at yourself to make sure your nipple isn't hanging out because you have no boob to fill the gap in your top. Breasts are the one thing that make women the most feminine, in my eyes. You can be fat, thin, young or old, but you will always have your breasts. So being without is can be quite depressing.

I am excited to be going on my 1st consultation today, I can't wait to be where you are at today. Thanks for sharing!

[Suprmama]

Thanks for sharing your story. After I nursed my two kids I too had absolutly nothing. I wouldn't have got the BA had I at least been able to buy a pretty 32A bra off the shelf and fill it out. I didn't even need a bra - it was just nipples on bone. My mom lives in another country and we hadn't seen each other for a long time. She was here a month before my surgery and she said she would support my decision - but she wasn't sure why I felt I needed it. I took off my shirt and padded bralette and the look on her face was priceless. She said "well, maybe your right hun"! I looked like a 12 year old boy.

I am so happy for you - enjoy your new body.

[wocky]

What a great story! Thanks so much for opening up and sharing. I know you've been through a lot. Isn't it wonderful how breast implants can help to heal such deep wounds? Enjoy your new implants and newfound confidence!

[foochick_uk]

this is scarily similar to my story called "the long and winding road.... that leads me to my boobs" feel free to have a read.
Your story is so moving and lovely and I can't wait to hear how your future evolves with the new additions
thank you so much for sharing
x x x x

[ForensicsFan]

Wow, what a story. I'm sorry you faced so much ridicule growing up! I was one of the lucky flat chested ones who just blended into the background and no one ever commented. But even so, I had all the same thoughts of inadequacy about my chest. I also started out with zero breasts, and it is quite a difference than even an A cup! I am still getting used to the change myself.. I just feel like I am wearing a very padded bra that I can't take off! haha..

I'm happy for you! Congrats!

[missroxy]

What a great story!! It totally sums up what I'm feeling, and you are right, people with boobs have no idea what it feels like when you have NOTHING!!! Haha whenever my husband touches my boobs I'm always wondering why he's touching them cuz there's nothing there to squeeze, can't wait till my BA!!!

[boobarama]

Incredible story! It is amazing how people can be so insensitive to others! We can't help what we are born with......or without. I myself am a "small" A cup and have been the butt of a few jokes, even by men which is infuriating! Thank god for my nice bottom! Congratulations to you! Bet you can't wait to take your new girls out on the town!

[Bre]

Thanks for sharing!! I'm sure they will d & f and in the end & a c/d cup will be pretty amazing to have - I'm sure you'll enjoy them! I know I can't wait to get some boobs even though they won't be *huge*. I hope everything else is going well, too!

[Bre]

Oh and yeah, sometimes girls with boobs just don't understand. I told one of my friends who has natural DDs and she just kind of sighed/grunted and said "I'd rather just spend that kind of money on clothes." Hello, clothes and boobs don't really compare!

[scarygirl]

Originally Posted by Boobless

I know it is a horrible thing, but I used to wish I had breast cancer. I always thought at least that way I would have an excuse for why I had no boobs and people would have no reason to judge or look down on me. I kept waiting for my chest to blossom up until my early 20's when I knew all hope had faded. I was stuck with horrible 32aaa's that where so disproportional to my pear shaped figure I honestly felt like a boy and definately less of a person. I wore chicken cutlets to try and hide the fact that I was flat chested, but even at that I barely filled out an A cup. People would ALWAYS make comments to me about how I had absolutely no boobs and I would think to myself, if you only knew I'm wearing padding to boost these things up a size you'd really be disgusted. I would always wear baggy clothes and only buy swimsuits with removeable liners in them so I could fit maximum padding in. As a teenager I often thought about killing myself because the constant embarrassment and ridicule (from my friends alone) was too much to bear. I remember several horrible situations being at sleepovers and stuff where girls where showing each other their breasts or trying on eachothers bras and stuff where I was forced to explain why I wouldn't do it. Honestly not a day went by or hardly an hour in the day when I didn't think about it.

When I met my husband, Andrew, at 16 he was my first sexual partner. Not that I didn't garner any male attention, but because I wouldn't allow anyone to get close to me because I felt like a freak. Not wanting to have to deal with the thought of rejection or disgust I pushed myself full force into the relationship thinking nobody else would ever want me. Never mind that it wasn't the right thing to do. Now, 10 years later we are getting a divorce and I'm 26 years old and starting from scratch. My husband has cheated on me at least twice that I know of and one time that I am pretty sure. I knew it was time to leave and do something for me. Time to get boobies!

I had originally started looking at breast implants around 2005, but heard so many horror stories that I talked myself out of it. It was actually the new cohesive gel implants that convinced me. I started reading everything I could on the internet and talking to people I know who had gotten boob jobs. I finally booked a consultation appointment with my PS. It wasn't until a few months later so I had nothing but time to research some more and look at MILLIONS of before and after pictures. I lived, slept, and dreamt boobs the whole time.

The day of the consultation came. It was actually moved up a month because of a cancellation. My boss was very accomodating about the whole thing. I think she looked at this whole thing as amusing. She didn't understand my plight as she has very large breasts. In fact she was one of the people who constantly made comments about my lack of breasts. She would often tell me her 11 year old daughter had a bigger chest than mine and make comments about fellow coworkers with no breasts that maybe they should get implants too. People who have breasts, even a full A cup or a B cup really don't understand what it's like to have absolutely nothing!

After being phsyched the whole time having this idea in my head that I'm going to go in there and try on all these sizers and pick out boobs I find out that because of my freakish chest wall that sticks out on one side (who knew) and the small diameter of my chest and complete lack of tissue for coverage there were really only 2 anatomical cohesive gel implants my dr was willing to do and they were 280 MM and 295 MF (I picked the latter even though they looked the same to me because I figured it has more projection). I went home and cried my eyes out. I couldn't believe that my small boobs were preventing me from getting bigger implants!

It seems like forever, but before I new it July 18th came and went and here I am with boobs. The surgery itself was pretty uneventful (to me anyway). All I remember is showing up there with my dad completely calm and not nervous at all (mostly just hungry lol). I got put in a waiting room to put a gown on and read magazines until I met with my PS and anesthesiologist who let me know the rundown of the surgery. I don't remember being knocked out only waking up after it was all over and not being able to breath! I tried to sit up because my throat was so sore and dry from the endotrachial tube that I felt like I was suffocating and I couldn't talk. The nurse kept trying to get me to lay down, but I was freaking out. She wouldn't bring me any damn water! Then after like 10 minutes (could be an hour hard to say I kept going in and out of sleep) she asked me how I was doing at which point I squeaked out in some kind of puberty voice that I need water.

Now here I am 4 days later. My boobs are rock hard and look like torpedos with big pointy pink nipples, but even as they are right now they are better than what I had before and I know they are going to drop and be the gorgeous boobs I've always dreamt of. The happiest moment of my life so far was when I went to Walmart to try and find other sports bras to wear while I washed my surgical bra and fitting into a 36C cup. And I know as they drop and fluff they can even get bigger. I have no swelling right now so I'm hoping I stay a full C or even a small D. (Hey a girl can dream!). It's hard to explan what this does to your confidence, the horrible insecuritys it cures instantly. Like all the years of heartache before didn't happen. No more worrying about how you're going to cover up your lack of chest when you go get x rays, go swimming, get a physical exam, wear pyjamas, have sexual encounters... It is the best thing I've ever done and I recommend it to anyone who's suffered having a small chest.

Now here comes the interesting part....I have this "friend" we'll call him and I REALLY like him. He's the first guy I've gone on a date with ever since highschool and I think he's going to be my first post BA sexual partner (friend with benefits lol). I absolutely can't wait to be able to have sex with someone and not be self conscious about my chest. Wish me luck ladies!

If it makes you feel better I'm in the AAA category. Until recently I thought I had more. I couldn't have written that post any better myself.

[Thea]

Thanks for sharing you story! I am so happy for you with your new found confidence! Have a quick recovery...

[harleysmom]

Wow, my heart truly went out to you as I read your story. Growing up is hard and having insecurities makes it even harder. So goes the saying "mean people suck" I am so glad it has a happy ending. Its just a shame so much has to happen along the way. Congrats on your new bewbies. Enjoy!!!!