What should I do? So very upset.

[jujumama]

Hello again,

I am extremely disappointed with my BA I had 6 plus weeks ago. There's a good sized size discrepancy and I did not go big enough.

I am 5'6, 130 lbs and I went with 375cc silicone unders.

The size discrepancy between the two breasts is my biggest issue. I was obviously different sizes pre op but my plastic surgeon said it was no big deal. That it would probably equate to only 25cc and she wouldn't even put a different sized implants in unless I needed 50cc's or more. Also, I have a "pectra" where not only does my chest cave in (enough to throw my heart off centered) but my rib cage is very unusual. While both sides of my ribs cave in, one side (the larger one) sticks out much further and is very oddly shaped. I strongly feel that my plastic surgeon did not even take this in to consideration.

So, I have been upset with the size difference for weeks now (see past posts), but I have been waiting it out because my plastic surgeon said to give it time. I have been keeping notes, my dh and I have been doing measurements, etc. all in anticipation of meeting back up with my plastic surgeon at 6 weeks, which was this last Monday.

It went awful. Truly, I really like my plastic surgeon. She is known for being very conservative and having a very low complication rate (all things I like about her). She came highly recommended. So I told her how I felt, how my husband felt (who very much sees the problem also) and how I was not happy with the results and pretty much I wanted them fixed. The bottom line is that my plastic surgeon just doesn't see it. She took the one measurement (from crease to nipple) and said according to her measurements, they are only like 1/8 inch off. Dh and I had measured repeatedly (including the night before) and we got 3/4 inch off (every time, measuring the same way she did).

Pretty much my plastic surgeon is willing to do a redo and pay for it since I am not happy, but she says she has no clue "what to fix." She doesn't see the size discrepancy as a big deal and says "no one is perfect." However, since she is so conservative, she will not do a redo before 6 months (she kept going on about how this is part of the reason she has such a low complication rate). It did not matter that "I" was willing to take the risk (I have healed beautifully even though my one scar looks like crap).

Waiting for me is a very bad option for two reasons. The main reason is because dh and I are adopting from Ethiopia. We are very pleased to be getting close to bringing our son home (we have a gorgeous 5 month old waiting for us). Plus we have 5 other kids. We planned this surgery so that it could be taken care of before our new one arrives. At this point we are looking to travel to pick him up in 7 to 10 weeks. If the redo is not done soon, it will be months before it can be done. The second reason this is a very bad option is because emotionally I feel kind of "deformed." Now truly I do not look "deformed" to the outside eye, but my results are so far from what they should be I just want to hide my breasts when at this point I was planning to be showing them off.

I am truly sorry for being so long winded, but I do not know what to do and we have no one in real life that even knows we did this (by design). My plastic surgeon offered to give the names of some other plastic surgeon's we could go to (she wanted me to at least have people that she knew wouldn't rip me off). We are thinking of going to one just for a second opinion. If it is someone she recommends I would think she would respect his/her opinion if she/he says they are off enough to be fixed. Or maybe he/she would says that dh and I are crazy and it is not that big of a deal (although I cannot imagine that). We are just at a total stand off with our plastic surgeon.

Also, even if we do get it worked out that we agree what it wrong, do I just wait my 6 months and have my original plastic surgeon do the redo (which if we saw eye to eye I would trust her with that) or do I go with another plastic surgeon that she recommends? Do you think it is even possible at this point to have a redo before we travel?

Thank you all so much. I am seriously struggling.

Julie

Oh and I am sure that pics would help and we have taken some, but they are very much under "lock and key" on dh's computer seeing we have and 9 and 11 yr old that are very computer savvy. I will talk to dh though about posting a couple.

[Mom-of-5]

I am so sorry that things aren't going well for you right now. I have many of the same chest wall "deformities" that you have and my pre boobs were different sizes. My plastic surgeon suggested going with not only different cc's, but also different profiles. My DH completely agreed with him although I was not so sure. We went with him and the plastic surgeon and my DH think they look perfect--I can tell the difference from my top down view! But then I step back and realize that in clothing, the 2 different profiles do make a perfect match.

I understand you had a certain timeline that would be the best case for your family situation, but it doesn't seem like a good idea to cut open skin that has just been healing for 6 weeks--it might make the second set of scars worse. But if it would make you feel better, go get second and third opinions and see what they say and if they are in agreement.

Also, from what I remember, I wasn't feeling good about my boobs and was still on a roller coaster that early on. Give it a few more weeks and you may feel comfortable waiting until after the baby arrives--you have a lot going on right now!!

Best wishes and keep us posted.

[saraj]

Hi.

I can tell how upset you are over all this. And I know how frustrating it it to be so upset over something and feel like there is not much you can do about it.

Pictures would be great to see exactly what is going on with you. I do know that if we stare, study, photograph, measure and basically scrutinize our breasts (or anyother part of our body), we will find imperfections. No two breasts are alike, real or fake.

I think plastic surgeon suggest waiting the 6 months not only for safety reasons but also for mental reasons. Our brains go through a rollercoaster of emotions after the surgery. Most women need time to adjust to their new bodies/breasts.
Not to mention, the more times you go under, the higher chances of complications. There are no guarentees. You could fix your size issue but get another problem in return.

You may find at 6 months that the size discrepency you have just doesn't bother you as much. You may realize that you can live with it and that you are actually happy with your breasts.

Or, you may still want to go ahead with a revision. But, I do suggest you wait the 6 months, as difficult as it seems. Go see other plastic surgeon for consults. This may make you feel better. I would focus on your family and if in 6 months you are still not happy, go ahead. The details will work themselves out.

[Iris]

I am sorry to hear you so upset. We place so much of ourselves both emotionally and physically into these BAs and then when things go awry our emotions go with them.
Unfortunately your body needs time to heal. And you are feeling under pressure with a new baby comming. You said you chose your plastic surgeon because you trusted her and it sounds like you still do. So try to keep that trust and know she has your best interest at heart. Doing another surgery so soon can lead to complications and complications can lead to more surgeries. Neither you or she wants that.
As hard as it might be try to wait it out, 6 months really does go fast. With 5 kids at home and the holidays upon us you have plenty to focus on. In 6 months it will be spring....a time of rebirth and hopefully the blossoming of your new boobs.
Hang in there.
Iris

[betterlaterthan]

Maybe you could have a few consults with other plastic surgeon in your area. They might give you info that you could use when talking to your plastic surgeon. If they could tell you how to fix the problems that your having, you might be able to explain what it is you want her to fix in terms she can understand. So sorry this happened to you. Hope it all works out.

[tranner]

I'm so sorry that you feel this way Julie, it must be very frustrating for you right now. I really agree with each of the other posts here. I also got the impression that there is at least still a level of trust between you and your plastic surgeon, but since she did the surgery, she maybe can't see the trees for the forest right now. That is why I think that you are very smart to get at least one other opinion right now, that way you can share with your plastic surgeon what one of her colleagues thinks and it might be enough to make her rethink what she may have done differently. A fresh set of eyes can't hurt.
I also agree with waiting the six months before invading your body again, as hard as that may sound at this point I think that it may work out best for you body and mind.
How exciting that you have a new son waiting to arrive Congrats to you and your hubby (who sounds so wonderfully supportive) I hope that a year down the road you are ecstatic with your family and your bust!

[mom3]

I'm sorry you are so unhappy with your results! It is very difficult to wait, especially with so much going on in your personal life, but I agree that the 6m wait is in your best interest. It is not what you want to hear, but in the long run, it will be a blip on the radar. IMO, I would try to focus on the beautiful 5m old you are adopting, and spend time adjusting to being a busy mom of a new lil' one. Y'all are gonna be so busy with the new adoption & family in general, that you may be surprised at how fast 6m goes. In the mean time, allow your body to heal more. I wish you all the best. Congrats on your adoption!

[jujumama]

Sincerely, I would like to thank you all for your advice/encouragement.

No, waiting until the 6 month mark is not want I want to hear, but I really wanted honest opinions and I appreciate that I got that.

I think we are going to get a 2nd opinion, just for the sake of seeing if they see what we see. We are trying to get a list of recommended plastic surgeon's from our original plastic surgeon. I guess we feel that if it is someone she recommends, she might be more likely to "see" what another colleague might say.

I am learning to accept that this is just the way it is right now. I even went to Victoria's Secret yesterday and got sized and bought 3 bras. If this is going to be how it is for a while, I might as well have some bras that I feel at least minimize the issues until we get it fixed. And truly, I do have other "more important" things to be focused on right now.

I do still trust my plastic surgeon and my plan is to have her fix this and possible go a little bit bigger once I hit the 6 month mark. I just hope we can get to the same page on what the problem is and how to make it better.

Oh and I still want to add some pics because you all are kind of experts right? I would really like some unbiased opinions and I think I could get it here.

Thank you all again,

Julie

[jamsmak04]

I have the exact same issue as you and have gone for the revision and it still is not fixed. I also have a chest wall deformity and they are very hard to work with. I am going to tell you honestly, if you have silicone there is no way they will be the same size as the diameter changes with implant size. Also the shape of your rib cage determines the shape of your breasts. If you chest wall is misshapen one of your breasts will be too. You will NEVER get perfection with your chest defomity. I have one breast that sticks out more and is rounder and is larger so I hear you. I am really considering removing my implants right now because atleast when they were small you could not see the problem, it was hidden well in a bra. But then I think I should fight the fight, maybe go for a 300 mod plus implant and a 271 on my big side and see how it works.
Dont blame your plastic surgeon because she is right, you will have to accept the difference, yes you can put a larger implant in the small side but you will gain base diameter and the breast will be wider. And if you have saline it will be harder and you will lose base diameter.