Nervous Breakdown!!! Please help!!

[spanker]

Yall-
I am literally having a nervous breakdown!!!
My breast augmentation is in 6 days and my husbands parents showed up UNEXPECTEDLY last night to stay a WEEK with us for Xmas!!! SURPRISE!!!
My breast augmentation is this coming Wednesday(the 27th) they are LEAVING that night!!!!
I had NO intention of telling them and I ticked off that I have to deal with this.
They are not staying in a hotel they insisted on staying with us, but they dont sleep together because they "dont rest well" that way. This means that my children are sleeping on the living room sofas and they have hijacked their bedrooms (we do not have a guest room-3 BDR house) I have NO idea what I am supposed to do Xmas EVE. THe kids will be IN the livingroom.... How does "Santa" come if the kids are IN THE ROOM??? OMG!!!!!!

I tried to talk to my "loving" husband last night and tell him how nervous I am about the breast augmentation and how there are alot of things that I will need to do this weekend and next week to get ready (DEEP clean/cook/grocery shop blah blah blah). He tells me that I chose to do this and that I needed to shut up or cancel the surgery. I tried to tell him that I did choose to do this and that I was excited and scared at the same time. He flipped and told me that I was being stupid.

So now I have his parents here- he seems to think this is something I supposed to "just do" like a filling at the dentist and I am not going to be able to get anything done at my house before the breast augmentation.

Oh......BTW. I am going to HAVE to tell these people that I am having a breast augmentation because they my husband has to take them back to airport by 4:40 the day of my breast augmentation!! They are going to give me crap about this and I may or may not lose my cool with them.
I talked to a friend at work today about this and of course they tried to encourage me, but I need help. The only people that could possibly understand the Hell I am in right now is yall......
I have been on this site a very short time but I have come to respect yalls responses to people. Yall are so caring!

[Lollypie]

Hey,
OMG, I really feel for you! That is so rude at the best of times, for them to invite themselves to your house and take up two bedrooms, for a whole week!Seriously hun, there is no way you can be expected to cancel your surgery becuase of these people. Your hubby needs to say, we love having you to stay, but a week is too long, and how about they move to a hotel for the last couple of nights? Even if you weren't having surgery, a week is a long time and you guys need a christmas holiday as well!
I hate to tell you but I felt like complete sh*t the day after my surgery when I'd stopped being high off the anaesthetic- no way could I deal with having people round, and I had overs with a v quick recovery. Remind your DH that it's MAJOR surgery, this is something you really want and you can't cancel it just like that- he needs to talk to them! My PS said if I cancelled I'd still have to pay all the money.
If you need to tel them about the op, don't take any crap- just explain matter-of-factly what it involves and remember, it's been your decision so stick by it.
Hope I haven't been too blunt here, and that you manage to work it out.

[Fashionknockout]

Oh gosh, what I mess....I feel so bad for you.
Is there any way you can come up with a story about you having to meet your parents the day of your breast augmentation.
Go have your surgery without telling the truth and have your husband pick you up after he takes them to the airport.
They will probably need to be there 2 hours early anyway.
The nurses won't let you go unless someone gets you, so that means you can stay all day and rest up without any inlaws.

About Santa coming, what if you try to explain it to them.
How is santa supposed to come if they are in the living room.
My guess is that they will understand and either give up a bedroom for a night or stay at a hotel for a night.
They have to realize that it is not fear to your children and that it is their bedrooms they are hijacking.
Good luck with everything, I hope it works out for you!!

[gayc]

I really feel for you.

I think your "loving" husband needs a good kick up the ********.

It's a tough time to be sorting out major issues but I think you really have to stay calm and have one more go at talking to him to try and get him to understand how you feel.

Failing that, take a deep breath and tell them. They will realise soon enough anyway. You are going to go through a worse hell winding yourself up about everything than if you tell them. Expect the worse in the way of reaction then anything after that can only get better!

Just tell yourself you have your priorities right, you and you kids comes first.

Good luck!

ps Maybe hubby is feeling a bit insecure about the attention you might attract after?

[Slinky]

Wow! What a time for you to have to deal with this! Both of the previous responses make sense. You just have to decide how you're going to deal with it, as far as telling them, and then try and be content with your decision. No way should you cancel your surgery! It's hard enough waiting..... you don't want to wait any longer, I'm sure.

As for Christmas eve, is there a room, other than the living room that the kids could camp out in? Like in sleeping bags? It could be a fun night for them and Santa could still sneak into the living room.

Good luck!! I hope it goes smoothly. You don't want to be upset and stressed out when you go in for your breast augmentation.

[spanker]

My breast augmentation is at 10:30am and the PS told me that I should be able to leave around 1:00, but the office is 45 minutes away w/ no traffic.
So I am putting myself getting home by 2:30. Which means that he would drop me off at home and leave me again for 2 hours...
A co-worker suggested that I check myself into an aftercare facility for that first night if my DH made one more comment about this or if the parents wished were put in front of mine.. Not a bad idea.

My DH CANNOT leave me that day for any reason. Parents or no parents.
Lolly- YOu are right I feel like a hotel is a GREAT idea! I would gladly PAY!!!
My DH has a sister that lives down the street, but they and the parents have made is known that they will not stay with them. However, I am thinking of telling his sister that either her or her Husband will have to take them to the airport. I NEED my DH there with me all day and night. I cannot get my money back at this point. I am not in a position to give up $4100 nor do I think I should have to.

Thank you for the support!!! This is a screwed up situation that I NEVER in a million years would have suspected. I just needed to vent and I have no one to vent to here. It sounds like something off of a sitcom. I swear it does.
It means to world to have people that listen and can relate to the breast augmentation nerves.
I am not sure that anyone could relate to the grandparent drama... LOLOL

[Cyn(JULIET76)]

Good Lord, where are your in-laws' manners?! I NEVER show up at anyone's home unannounced! Much less impose myself on their hospitality and stay a week!!!!

I like the idea of staying at an aftercare center. If it's affordable for you, I say that's a great option. Here's another idea, though maybe not ideal: you could call your PS, explain all the sordid details, ask if they might trade surgery dates w/ another patient scheduled a day or two after you. I know you don't want to sacrifice your day, but if there's no other way, perhaps ood luck to you, Hon, and tell you hubby to stop being a selfish jerk.

[blonde3277]

Im soooo sorry to hear this..if your hubby was thoughtful..which it sounds like he's not..He would take your thoughts into consideration and talk to his folks..I dont think you need to tell them its really none of their business.

Oh I would be steaming right now!! but, they are there and they aren't leaving apparently...so I guess just take a deep breath and try to get through it. Be strong, sit your hubby down and explain calmly how you are feeling. IF he doesn't back you up 100% then I dont know what to say but I would feel like doing this...

Well keep us posted and let us know how it goes.
Take care and try to have a happy holiday!

[Impalamama]

OH WOW... WHAT A LOAD! Please stay rational and calm... (even though I would be freaking out myself) You don't want your blood pressure going thru the roof! You will definetly need your husband support or someone you trust to help you when you get back from you breast augmentation. ... Good luck to you girl...
Man these holidays are stressful!

[Tropicana]

That really sucks. I’m sorry that your in-laws and husband is putting you through this. He should be more supportive but a lot of men have these kinds of reactions right before their wives or girlfriends have a B/A. Call it last minute insecurities.

If your husband would agree to speak to your parents he could tell them that you guys have other plans and were not expecting them. They will either have to leave early or take a taxi to the airport. You can tell them you had planned to get away for a few days to a larger city or something like that and you can’t cancel your reservations. You can also tell them that you have a surgery schedule to take care of some female issues or back problems and leave it at that. If they insist tell them that it is personal and you rather not discuss it.

I would be fuming mad if my in-laws did somthing like that to me. Really, how rude and inconsiderate of them.

[thevixen]

All I can say is WOW.
I could never fathom having company come without invitation, stay at my house, and then take up 2 rooms.

I had my breast augmentation last Friday and there was no way I wanted to talk, listen, or see anyone other than my dh and children. Does your dh understand that you won't be making meals for 3-5 days? It is almost impossible to get the caps off the medicine bottles, much less be friendly to company. Also, you are going to spend a couple of nights on the couch yourself.

Do you get along well with your sister in law? Maybe she could pick you up and take you to her house and let you sleep until dh gets back from the airport.

Maybe your gift to the inlaws could be a night or two in a hotel. At least that way, Santa can leave the gifts for the children.

You are not being stupid for wanting to do this and for all the emotions that you have.

I hope that you and dh will be able to work something out.

[Storm]

Well, maybe if they know they will do something for you.
It is your body and decision and none of their business...
I agree, he is being an A**.
I have already given my DH the rules. He has to keep grandson from jumping on me on the weekends.I won't be able to lift him for a while. I don't have to clean, he does it. LOL...
I would be upset if someone invited themselves over. A call and asking would be nice.You do have to now feed more people.
I have put everything on my list i am going to need, and i better get babied for a few days...

[PetuPetu]

OMG, so sorry you have to deal with this bump in the road. Is there anyway the in-laws can take a Supershuttle to the airport? If you don't feel like telling them about the breast augmentation, maybe you could say you are having some other kind of woman surgery. Hopefully they would be understanding that your dh would not be able to take them to the airport and be with you at the hospital. I hope it all works out for you. Just think after all this mess is over with you will end up with beautiful boobies!

[gayc]

On the subject of whether to tell them, of course it's a very personal decision.

I kind of feel though, that if they are the type that feels they can do this unannounced at Christmas, they are probably going to notice before too long that your boobs have got bigger.

How do you feel about getting through this then wondering how long it is before they notice? How do you get on with them otherwise?

Whatever you decide I wish you the very best in getting through it.

Gay

[Marissa]

Just an idea,

Maybe call your ps office and tell them you have a bad flu and is it possible to schedulle for the week or 2 after...

Good luck, hope everything works out

[jasyjewel]

I cannot believe they actually did that... I don't even know what to tell you, although some of the other women had some good ideas.

Since I can't say much I wish you luck and hope that everything turns out well for you. I am sending good vibes and karma your way.

[spanker]

Everyone of you have reiterated the SAME thoughts that I have had.
Understand that there is not a doubt in my mind that my DH will take care of me extremely well after the breast augmentation. I think that the stress of his parents showing up has thrown us both off and I think that he knows they will disapprove so he is taking a defensive attitude because we will have to tell them SOMETHING.
MY mom would disapprove too though. We all know that there are people in our lives that think our choice of breast augmentation is a silly one. They see us as perfect (or close to it) and wonder why we are "unhappy with ourselves". Which is the first thing that people say- that I must be an unhappy person to do this. No true at all- as you all know.
I would obviously have to tell them one day- they would notice the boobies, but I just didn't expect the situation would play out like this.
There is no other way - his sister will HAVE to take them to the airport. Period.
I just didn't want to hear negativity before I have my breast augmentation. I refuse to hear a negative comment about this choice that I have made.
I have to laugh or I would cry.
I am keeping my eye on the prize...... or PRIZES so to speak and trying to remember that I am a 33 year old grown woman that made a decision and that i do not need anyone elses permission to do this nor did I ask anyone for money to pay for this.... Right?
LOL

[Impalamama]

you are right.. you don't need to make any excuse or get permission from anyone to have your breast augmentation!

[scoobs]

i totally agree with what everyone else has said, but i would also INSIST that they both sleep in one bedroom, whether one of them is on the floor or not is their problem. they can not expect to just turn up on your door step and take over more than half your sleeping quarters!!!!! if they don't want to sleep in the same room, then pack one of them off the your dh's sisters house.
they sound like one of those family members i hate to see walking up my drive lol

let us know how it works out for you.

[discobisco1]

this sounds like my worst nightmare...our darling husbands can really surprise us at the best of times..im sure your dh always has your best intentions to heart but when it comes to the "outlaws" we sometimes just have to grin and bear it

i wouldnt be a huge fan of my mil but she would never ever call over unannounced..i think that you should drop a few hints to them saying something like oh you should have told us you were staying i could of done this/that or the other!!! anyway, dont get stressed (EASIER SAID THAN DONE) but if you dont want to tell them then dont...come up with some excuse and thats that..if even on the morning of the op you make up something that you really need your dh with you for as something has come up in an emergency and the sil will have to then take them...my dh wanted me to tell my mil when im getting them done as we were going to ask her to babysit..but absolutely no way was i telling her..ive told my own mam and she is very supportive...

best of luck..take no crap!! tell them to get out and find their own way to the airport..(only messing - im sure youd feel like it though)