what should i do? - Page 2 - JustBreastImplants.com Forums - Breast Augmentation, Breast Implants, and Plastic Surgeons

TinyAsian · 08-20-2008, 01:55 AM

Sorry but my opinion is it doesn't matter if he's footing the whole freaking bill or partial etc...it's up to him if he WANTS to do it to be supportive etc.. but ultimately it's YOUR body, sorry but it's not like it's going to be a 50% ownership b/c he's footing some of the money, seriously, it's not communityy property, it's not like you get to split the "assets" should you guys break up etc...if he's not comfortable or YOU"RE not comfortable about it, perhaps you should wait until you can afford to do it yourself. I would hate for it to be something he "holds over you" b/c he feels he "paid" for them etc...just my thougts...I mean is it a loan or is he doing this freely without any expectations in return? This is very tricky fine line...I mean yah, definitely feel appreciative but it should not be conditional thing on his end...like "ok I have the final say on size/shape etc..b/c I paid for it" if that's the case then you might have to seriously reconsider your situation...my personal opinion...don't mean to cause friction/trouble...

Blvd756 · 08-20-2008, 02:02 AM

I agree with everyone else. He sounds VERY controlling and as an adult, should know better then to intervene so much. It's your body and this is a massive and life altering decision so regardless of how much he is paying, do not let him make any decisions or get on this board.

Brandandi · 08-20-2008, 02:39 AM

My hubby paid for everything, and my PS decided on the size. Your PS knows way more about what's best for you, and your bf needs to understand that. This isn't about who spent what. This is about YOUR body, and your PS knows best. I hope everything works out great for you, hon.

Freckledfool · 08-20-2008, 02:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CupcakeWife

bottom line, your body, your doctor, you choice.

I totally agree with CupcakeWife. but big KUDOS on him on helping $$$!

russiansfinest · 08-20-2008, 03:06 PM

yea, i think i need to just really sit down with him and say " look, if you are goign to have problems with me getting what i want even though this is a gift, i would rather get them myself".. its just frustrating you know

Nanny66 · 08-20-2008, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by russiansfinest

yea, i told him men cant get on here. he does not know my username or password, so there is not much he can do. i told him if he wants to get on the site, he can look at it when i get on when he is around me.

You shouldn't let him view the forum even whilst you're on here...I know none of us would ever know, but it's nice to know just women are viewing our siggy pics and talking about intimate things...

I can't stress enough that you should stop him even looking at this site...

~~Melissa~~ · 08-20-2008, 05:16 PM

I agree with everyone - and you. It is nice that he wants to help but ultimately it is your body and what you will have to live with. It is very generous of him but that doesn't mean his word should be the ultimate decision maker.

russiansfinest · 08-20-2008, 06:11 PM

yea, i told him he is not allowed on here. he is not really controlling, but is very careful with his money since this is a huge step in our relationship. we are going to our pre-op in a few weeks so when we go i am going to decide what size i want even if he doesnt like it. he said he didnt want me to be unhappy incase they were too small... so i think he is just really freakin out cause this is huge you know. but yet, i dont agree on him pressuring me a little for a bigger size. he said that he jsut wants to be a part of this, and for me to lsiten to his opinions. i mean, i did lsiten. i have went from 350 to 400cc because i realized that, yes, it would be smaller than i wanted to i was grateful for him helping me on that

HawaiiHottie · 08-20-2008, 08:25 PM

Ok, so I'm going to give you a little history here.
I had my BA over two months ago, and before my surgery I quit my job to be able to fully recover. My job would only allow me to take 1 month off work and still be "employed", and required the use of a bit of upperbody muscles.
Sooooo instead of potentially jepordizing my recovery I opted for some time off.
Since then my boyfriend has been completely supporting both of us, and is happy about it. ( We plan on getting married, so he thinks this is just a "step in that direction")
He ALSO paid for my surgery too. All of it. (I know, I'm isanely lucky)
I brought this post up to him, because your situation was similar to mine, and he was in complete agreement with me.
Your bf can say his two-cents, and thats it. It is YOUR body, and YOUR desicion. HE offered to help, HE is giving you a gift, HE doesn't get to, and shouldn't, attatch strings to it.
Ultimately it should be up to you and you only.
Your body is yours and yours alone. He should respect that.
I would listen to him, and then make your own desicion. Honestly he probably won't know either way, and NO MATTER WHAT he'll be happy with improvments.
I hope that helps!!!
Good luck hun!!!

russiansfinest · 08-20-2008, 08:25 PM

he does not know my passowrd or anything. he has not got on and never will. we already went to the consult together, and i decided on 400, which should get me a small d... idk.. he is so confusing.

Dream Weaver · 08-20-2008, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by russiansfinest

ok well, you all know how i am planning on getting implants in about 3 weeks.... well, my boyfriend is helping me out financially. i am pitching alot in too, but he is putting most of it in for the implants. anyway, i am starting to feel as if he is trying to get the biggest size of me that he can. he goes on this site after i told him not to since this was my place to research and talk to women, and he needs to stop trying to intervene too much. but, he doesnt seem to get it. he said that this is a gift for me, and that i get what i want. but, i feel as if he is trying to push the size more and more, and it frustrates me. what should i do??

hi Russiansfinest, i think most of us will agree that you are doing this for you and your body... you ultimately will be living with the result so you have to do what is best for you. I've had exactly the opposite problem, btw, with my husband not wanting me to do it at all and knowing that i was going to do it anyway, wanted me to go smaller than i wanted to go. i ultimately did what i want b/c i did it for me. so i was clear that i wanted to do what was best for me, what i could look in the mirror and be happy with. i would give the same advice to anyone else... no matter who's paying, it's your body and you have to love your results. nothing is more important than what you want. do it for you. even if you have to pay for it yourself to get him out of the 'decision making' position. charge it, finance it, do whatever you have to do to eleviate the pressure from him. try to explain this to him. it's a personal decision. he'll love it more if you are comfortable and sounds like you'll be more comfortable if you do what YOU WANT. keep sight of that and try not to let anyone sway you. it's your body, your decision. Stay true to yourself. It's the only way you'll truly be happy and that's ultimately what you're striving for. Go for what you want. That's my 2 cents, hope that helps. Best of luck with it all...

~ Dream

gingersnpr · 08-20-2008, 09:00 PM

Remember to smile! To enjoy each other, enjoy this time as this to shall pass, and you will have another hill to climb together. Well maybe two bigger hills

Sending hugs your way!

Angelblue · 08-20-2008, 09:53 PM

I have to say, it's a little disturbing to hear that he is pressuring you to go bigger. If a man pays for dinner, it doesn't entitle him to "anything" If a man pays for boobs, it doesn't entitle him to anything either. It's your body, it's your decision. I would give my hubby the death glare if he so much as suggested that he thought he had ANY right to say what I do to my body. And, he would know he had crossed a line that would put him in the doghouse. But, he wouldn't dream of it because he knows that I don't, haven't, and would never put up with any kind of controlling behavior.

Good luck with your new boobs!! Just make sure that you know if strings are attached before you accept the money for the surgery.

itybity · 08-21-2008, 08:26 AM

Its already been said over & over.... but here is my two cents worth....

Just cos he is helping you financially does not give him the final say. I hope your PS states (in front of him) what size is best for you & he should shut up & put up.

BTW....... What an awesome 2 year anniversary gift. can't imagine what you'll get by the 10th year... Hopefully he is worthy of you for that long!

best of luck
xx

russiansfinest · 08-21-2008, 04:26 PM

you all are so sweet

i have been getting into little hissy fits about the implants with him... i know that sounds childish, but i thinkhe really saw my feelings about it. not sure if he was just so anxious and tuned everything (me) out or what. he is saying he is excited for me, and that i decide.. but i dont know. i think he is starting to see other side of things in the past few days, so everyone's advice really helped. i told him that it was my body and that the ps knows alot mroe. he and i went to the consult together, and the ps said that 425 would be pushing it.. so 390-400 would be perfect. we are both freaking out that it will be small, and since this is a huge step in our relationship, he wants to be careful.. but doesnt see that its my decision. i mean, i am not saying that he is saying " i decide what size you get". its not like that. its more like " i think a little bigger would look good".. and " what about 450." stuff like that.. but things are definetly better....

08-20-2008, 01:55 AM	#21
TinyAsian Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Canyon Lake, California Posts: 180 Thanks: 9 Thanked 75 Times in 71 Posts	Sorry but my opinion is it doesn't matter if he's footing the whole freaking bill or partial etc...it's up to him if he WANTS to do it to be supportive etc.. but ultimately it's YOUR body, sorry but it's not like it's going to be a 50% ownership b/c he's footing some of the money, seriously, it's not communityy property, it's not like you get to split the "assets" should you guys break up etc...if he's not comfortable or YOU"RE not comfortable about it, perhaps you should wait until you can afford to do it yourself. I would hate for it to be something he "holds over you" b/c he feels he "paid" for them etc...just my thougts...I mean is it a loan or is he doing this freely without any expectations in return? This is very tricky fine line...I mean yah, definitely feel appreciative but it should not be conditional thing on his end...like "ok I have the final say on size/shape etc..b/c I paid for it" if that's the case then you might have to seriously reconsider your situation...my personal opinion...don't mean to cause friction/trouble... __________________ 5' 0' 115lbs Pre BA: 34A Post BA: Currently 34 D BA Date: July 31, 2008 450cc Mod+ Unders

08-20-2008, 02:02 AM	#22
Blvd756 Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: California Posts: 1,106 My Mood: Thanks: 803 Thanked 512 Times in 412 Posts	I agree with everyone else. He sounds VERY controlling and as an adult, should know better then to intervene so much. It's your body and this is a massive and life altering decision so regardless of how much he is paying, do not let him make any decisions or get on this board. __________________ 5'4", 118 lbs Pre BA- 34 B Post BA- 32 DD at the moment TUBA incision/saline full unders/mentor mods 375 cc's f/t 425 cc's in both breasts www.justbreastimplants.com/Kim/

08-20-2008, 02:39 AM	#23
Brandandi Love my Diacos!!!! Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Sumterville, Florida Posts: 135 My Mood: Thanks: 54 Thanked 27 Times in 26 Posts	My hubby paid for everything, and my PS decided on the size. Your PS knows way more about what's best for you, and your bf needs to understand that. This isn't about who spent what. This is about YOUR body, and your PS knows best. I hope everything works out great for you, hon. __________________ Mom of 2 beautiful girls Age:26 Height:5'7' Saline implants Unders (500 CCs) Pre BA: 36 A Post BA: 38 C

08-20-2008, 05:16 PM	#27
~~Melissa~~ Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Raleigh, North Carolina Posts: 110 My Mood: Thanks: 30 Thanked 33 Times in 29 Posts	I agree with everyone - and you. It is nice that he wants to help but ultimately it is your body and what you will have to live with. It is very generous of him but that doesn't mean his word should be the ultimate decision maker. __________________ ~~Melissa~~ BA Date: 08/26/2008 Mentor Smooth Gel Silicone Unders Crease incision 400 cc Right 375 cc Left Pre BA: 34 A Post BA: ?? Hoping for full C

08-20-2008, 09:00 PM	#32
gingersnpr Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: michigan Posts: 279 My Mood: Thanks: 169 Thanked 138 Times in 123 Posts	Remember to smile! To enjoy each other, enjoy this time as this to shall pass, and you will have another hill to climb together. Well maybe two bigger hills Sending hugs your way! __________________ 6'3 127lbs 1st breast augmentation. 240mods(11.7cm width)(2.9proj) 2nd breast augmentation 425hp(12.5cm width)(5.0cm proj)

08-20-2008, 03:06 PM	#25
russiansfinest Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: allen texas Posts: 165 Thanks: 5 Thanked 41 Times in 38 Posts	yea, i think i need to just really sit down with him and say " look, if you are goign to have problems with me getting what i want even though this is a gift, i would rather get them myself".. its just frustrating you know

08-20-2008, 06:11 PM	#28
russiansfinest Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: allen texas Posts: 165 Thanks: 5 Thanked 41 Times in 38 Posts	yea, i told him he is not allowed on here. he is not really controlling, but is very careful with his money since this is a huge step in our relationship. we are going to our pre-op in a few weeks so when we go i am going to decide what size i want even if he doesnt like it. he said he didnt want me to be unhappy incase they were too small... so i think he is just really freakin out cause this is huge you know. but yet, i dont agree on him pressuring me a little for a bigger size. he said that he jsut wants to be a part of this, and for me to lsiten to his opinions. i mean, i did lsiten. i have went from 350 to 400cc because i realized that, yes, it would be smaller than i wanted to i was grateful for him helping me on that

08-20-2008, 08:25 PM	#29
HawaiiHottie Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Hawaii Kai, Oahu Posts: 104 My Mood: Thanks: 52 Thanked 65 Times in 44 Posts	Ok, so I'm going to give you a little history here. I had my BA over two months ago, and before my surgery I quit my job to be able to fully recover. My job would only allow me to take 1 month off work and still be "employed", and required the use of a bit of upperbody muscles. Sooooo instead of potentially jepordizing my recovery I opted for some time off. Since then my boyfriend has been completely supporting both of us, and is happy about it. ( We plan on getting married, so he thinks this is just a "step in that direction") He ALSO paid for my surgery too. All of it. (I know, I'm isanely lucky) I brought this post up to him, because your situation was similar to mine, and he was in complete agreement with me. Your bf can say his two-cents, and thats it. It is YOUR body, and YOUR desicion. HE offered to help, HE is giving you a gift, HE doesn't get to, and shouldn't, attatch strings to it. Ultimately it should be up to you and you only. Your body is yours and yours alone. He should respect that. I would listen to him, and then make your own desicion. Honestly he probably won't know either way, and NO MATTER WHAT he'll be happy with improvments. I hope that helps!!! Good luck hun!!!

08-20-2008, 09:53 PM	#33
Angelblue C'mon girls drop an fluff Join Date: May 2008 Location: Cross between a zoo and an asylum Posts: 308 My Mood: Thanks: 99 Thanked 130 Times in 110 Posts	I have to say, it's a little disturbing to hear that he is pressuring you to go bigger. If a man pays for dinner, it doesn't entitle him to "anything" If a man pays for boobs, it doesn't entitle him to anything either. It's your body, it's your decision. I would give my hubby the death glare if he so much as suggested that he thought he had ANY right to say what I do to my body. And, he would know he had crossed a line that would put him in the doghouse. But, he wouldn't dream of it because he knows that I don't, haven't, and would never put up with any kind of controlling behavior. Good luck with your new boobs!! Just make sure that you know if strings are attached before you accept the money for the surgery. __________________ Pre ba 34B Silicone HP unders 450 R 475 L Post ba Hoping for a nice D Looking like a 34 DD so far

08-21-2008, 08:26 AM	#34
itybity Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: NSW, Australia Posts: 52 My Mood: Thanks: 39 Thanked 22 Times in 23 Posts	Its already been said over & over.... but here is my two cents worth.... Just cos he is helping you financially does not give him the final say. I hope your PS states (in front of him) what size is best for you & he should shut up & put up. BTW....... What an awesome 2 year anniversary gift. can't imagine what you'll get by the 10th year... Hopefully he is worthy of you for that long! best of luck xx __________________ Proud Mum of two boys (both breastfed) Happily married to my childhood sweetheart. Pre BA: 36C (very sad & droopy) 350cc Med profile Silicone Unders Crease Incision Post BA: 36D to DD ( I hope) BA date: July 28th

08-21-2008, 04:26 PM	#35
russiansfinest Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: allen texas Posts: 165 Thanks: 5 Thanked 41 Times in 38 Posts	you all are so sweet i have been getting into little hissy fits about the implants with him... i know that sounds childish, but i thinkhe really saw my feelings about it. not sure if he was just so anxious and tuned everything (me) out or what. he is saying he is excited for me, and that i decide.. but i dont know. i think he is starting to see other side of things in the past few days, so everyone's advice really helped. i told him that it was my body and that the ps knows alot mroe. he and i went to the consult together, and the ps said that 425 would be pushing it.. so 390-400 would be perfect. we are both freaking out that it will be small, and since this is a huge step in our relationship, he wants to be careful.. but doesnt see that its my decision. i mean, i am not saying that he is saying " i decide what size you get". its not like that. its more like " i think a little bigger would look good".. and " what about 450." stuff like that.. but things are definetly better....