Thinking Smaller ... Sigh.

[Akhmatova]

If anyone has ever spoken to me on here, you know I have nothing to complain about. I asked my doctor to fix my tuberous breasts (he sure did, they are now completely round and perky) and give me an hourglass figure (yep, also did this).

I looked up some information about size beforehand and it seemed like every woman who wanted to achieve that hourglass look who was my size, had to go D and up. To me, these women did not even look like they had D's because of their wide frames. Every PS I saw seemed to agree with me once they saw me topless, that I needed nothing less than a D to make me look 'proportional.'

So, in regards to size, my PS also gave me exactly what I said I wanted. I am not complaining about him here, I think he absolutely wonderful and a true artist.

However, I am now thinking I may have made a mistake with my size.

I am currently a 36DD (or perhaps a little larger, as the cups on these are tight). I often tell people there is really no way to know how to imagine YOUR tiny A or B sized boobs as large as a D or bigger. There just isn't, which is why we gauge it with photos that we find and give to our PS's.

One thing I think I am realizing is that this size is just too large for me. I have nothing against the girls who go bigger (we should all be happy with ourselves, which is my whole point), but I notice that when thinking of what I find to be "hot" or "sexy" on women, I go looking for smaller breasts in the B-C range.

Before breast augmentation, I was a tuberous 36B. My first "I want implants" moment was when I realized I had this deformity. I KNEW right then and there that I wanted ROUND boobs. I wanted to fill out a bra normally! From there I obviously had to think about size, so naturally I started researching women who were about the same size as me, and they all had D cups. I guess I kind of just went with that? Plus, my husband is a HUGE big boobie fan and he NEVER pressured me on size, but I think all the big boobie talk infiltrated my head and decision.

Is this just the Boobie Blues attacking me again almost three months after? I know that these breasts do not feel "sexy" to me (and they are pretty jiggly now, so it's not the feel of them or anything) and that I find myself coveting smaller round breasts. I always prided myself on my positive body image, but lately I just feel kind of depressed about all of this.

I think I have depressed my husband with this talk (LOL like I said, he LOVES big boobies and has gotten waaaay attached to mine haha!) So I thought I would throw this little story to all of you. We are moving and I told him that I want to get a job (I am a writer who doesn't get paid regularly/housewife right now) and start saving up for a redo OR even an explant. I even could stand having tuberous breasts back. Sigh.

My husband seems to think I just need to still get used to them and I also need more people to compliment me or something (so far my friends haven't really said anything even though I told them I was having this done. Weird.). But he also said that once we get our finances straightened (we are moving and buying a new house and are probably going to lose money on our current house because of the economy) I can schedule anything I want once money is better. I have always had body issues, until losing a lot of weight during college. FINALLY I felt like I loved my body 100 percent. So I was apprehensive about breast augmentation from the start because I felt like it took me SO long to be comfortable with my body, I was scared of changing it. So he and I agreed that if I freaked out, we would do what needs to be done to fix things so I could feel OK again.

So I am just saying that although he is seeming morose about my new proclamations about smaller size, he also supports me if that is what is going to make me happy.

My point with all of this is that one thing I learned from breast augmentation is how important it is for a woman to be happy with herself. Whether it is going smaller, or much much larger. I support anyone doing what they need to do. I just never thought I would be in the boat of "unhappiness" and wanting a redo.

I also want to say I am a artsy liberal hippie type that never liked wearing bras in the first place. When I do that now, I feel like I am wasting 8 grand and have tremendous guilt. Bleh! I just want to feel better ... any suggestions? I feel like I just got so excited with the idea of round boobs, that I kind of ignored all the other details ...

[candycane86]

I don't know what to say but I am sorry you are feeling this way. For what it's worth, I think your breasts look beautiful and you look very in proportion.

[Akhmatova]

Originally Posted by candycane86

I don't know what to say but I am sorry you are feeling this way. For what it's worth, I think your breasts look beautiful and you look very in proportion.

Yeah, I think my PS is absolutely amazing, I think he gave me exactly what I asked for, but as it turns out - I think I was looking for something else in terms of look? Hmmm. And thanks.

[Akhmatova]

I also want to say this is a relatively new feeling. At first I was SO happy with them, but looking back I think that was just because I finally had ROUND boobs.

I am also thinking this may have something to do with what I had done: basically, before breast augmentation, they were saggy, asymmetrical, huge puffy areolas, herniated and I went to these big, round out-there (twins) boobies. In a lot of ways, I wonder if I am still in shock. A lot of you girls have small boobies that are made larger, but mine were basically entirely reshaped into something ENTIRELY different (they are literally unrecognizable to my pre-breast augmentation boobies, in even the slightest way. It is almost like he cut off the old boobies and slapped on prosthetic ones (lol that sounds bad, but I mean that they look SO different...))

Hmmmmmmmmmm.

[Carmella]

Hey girlie... I went to your page to peep some pics but didn't see any.

For what it's worth... I'm not sure that small boobs would necessarily look good on a frame that fits your stats. There is something very womanly and bodacious about an hour glass figure. If you have hips.... full breasts should fit you perfectly. Are these smaller boobs that you are admiring on body frames similiar to yours?

[Petite_girl]

Hi, i felt just like you at around the same stage post op, even though i have 275s i felt like they were way to big for me but after 3-4 months my mind had adjusted to them and i realised they werent that big and that i actually liked them. I went from no breast tissue to 32C boobs and it was a big mental adjustment, just like you're having, hang in there

[Ellie]

Have you finished dropping and fluffing yet? I know you think you're too big but 3 months is still early. I've been told by a few ppl inc my surgeons nurse that it could take up to 6 months for the swelling to go down. Hopefully you're one of those women and you end up loving your new size. Sending some positive vibes your way

[Akhmatova]

Originally Posted by Carmella

Hey girlie... I went to your page to peep some pics but didn't see any.

For what it's worth... I'm not sure that small boobs would necessarily look good on a frame that fits your stats. There is something very womanly and bodacious about an hour glass figure. If you have hips.... full breasts should fit you perfectly. Are these smaller boobs that you are admiring on body frames similiar to yours?

I am mostly admiring my own old photos. Sigh.

And I took my photos off, not because I think I look ugly or something, but because I just find this site to be too searchable through search engines.

[Akhmatova]

Originally Posted by Ellie

Have you finished dropping and fluffing yet? I know you think you're too big but 3 months is still early. I've been told by a few ppl inc my surgeons nurse that it could take up to 6 months for the swelling to go down. Hopefully you're one of those women and you end up loving your new size. Sending some positive vibes your way

Yeah, I am pretty much completely dropped. No frankenboob here. I am not like, going to do a redo tomorrow or anything. We are going to pay off the first boobs before doing a redo anyway (and we are doing the 18 month promotion for Carecredit, so I will definitely know at that time whether or not I am just not used to them or whether I really don't like the size).

[ladynow81]

Hey sweetie, I just wanted to say sorry your are not happy. I would not make any rushed descisions right now, I know you said you have to get your money together, and that may be a good thing, you dont want to have anether sergery so soon after the first for you own health. Having a breast augmentation is such a personal choice and it is realy about what makes you happy and confident with yourself. Give yourself a few months while you get your your finances together and maby this is just a boobie blues moment, maby it is just how you realy feel, and if it still is, then then go in and get everything fixed how you want to be. Keep your head up sweetie and I will keep my finger crossed that you can get yourself to by totaly happy. Good luck

[Akhmatova]

Originally Posted by Petite_girl

Hi, i felt just like you at around the same stage post op, even though i have 275s i felt like they were way to big for me but after 3-4 months my mind had adjusted to them and i realised they werent that big and that i actually liked them. I went from no breast tissue to 32C boobs and it was a big mental adjustment, just like you're having, hang in there

Thanks. I kind of wish I had a C. Actually, I want my B's back ... even tuberous. I know that probably sounds odd to a lot of people, but I never knew I even had the deformity until this year, it was a total shocker to even know that. So I never had a hang up about it, I just thought I had small boobs and then kind of moved on from that and threw on a padded bra. Not that it isn't nice to not have to wear a padded bra all the time, but I kind of liked that some days I felt like being au natural and going braless and flat, other days I could be larger or medium sized. Is that weird? Now I can't exactly ever do that ... even in my husband's huge t-shirt they are obvious (which is why I never made a secret about them to anybody. As soon as I put new pics up of me in normal clothes on FB, people were asking what was up with my boobs and why they looked larger. Sigh).

[Akhmatova]

Originally Posted by ladynow81

Hey sweetie, I just wanted to say sorry your are not happy. I would not make any rushed descisions right now, I know you said you have to get your money together, and that may be a good thing, you dont want to have anether sergery so soon after the first for you own health. Having a breast augmentation is such a personal choice and it is realy about what makes you happy and confident with yourself. Give yourself a few months while you get your your finances together and maby this is just a boobie blues moment, maby it is just how you realy feel, and if it still is, then then go in and get everything fixed how you want to be. Keep your head up sweetie and I will keep my finger crossed that you can get yourself to by totaly happy. Good luck

Yeah, I hear what you're saying and I am definitely not jumping into another surgery lol we don't have the money even if I was going to be crazy and try that! I think it bothers me the most because they don't make me feel sexy AT ALL. I know there could be more factors at work here ... but my sex drive is non existant lately and when I try to go there TMI lol, I look down and they they make me kind of like "ugh," just because I never thought such large breasts were what was sexy (no offense to anyone, it's just my personal choice I guess...). I never thought that much into it before breast augmentation though ... I am straight so it wasn't like I was constantly thinking about what was hot on a woman. I feel bad for my husband because he is ALWAYS turned on lately (big boobie kind of guy haha) and I am like, the opposite.

Again, I am not saying anyone's choice to have larger breasts is ugly, it just doesn't appear to be something I am turned on by.

HOPEFULLY I am just having some weird version of the boobie blues though and will get over it. I don't particularly like that I paid 8 grand for something that I randomly decided I didn't want anymore ... I hope to come back in 18 months and tell you all that I actually love them now. I hope!!

[summerlovin]

I sent you a FR!

[Akhmatova]

LOL just so everyone knows, I took my pics down because I don't like how searchable this site is in search engines (just in case anyone is sending me FRs so they can see my pics and say a nice comment. I appreciate it guys, just wanted to let you know that I don't have pics anymore unfortunately!).

[Ellie]

Originally Posted by queenhrosie

Yeah, I am pretty much completely dropped. No frankenboob here. I am not like, going to do a redo tomorrow or anything. We are going to pay off the first boobs before doing a redo anyway (and we are doing the 18 month promotion for Carecredit, so I will definitely know at that time whether or not I am just not used to them or whether I really don't like the size).

I hope that it works out one way or another and you end up happy. I know what it's like to not be happy with what you paid for which is why I had the redo. Why don't you try minimizer bras? They really squash you down and hide your true size in my experience

[Akhmatova]

Originally Posted by Ellie

I hope that it works out one way or another and you end up happy. I know what it's like to not be happy with what you paid for which is why I had the redo. Why don't you try minimizer bras? They really squash you down and hide your true size in my experience

Do you know any that ... don't look 'granny-like' lol. I am pissy as it is because I can't wear wire bras for 6 months and most wireless look so granny!! I am not overly fond of my boobie size, but that doesn't mean I want to wear a bra my grandma would wear hahaha!! I was thinking about the minimizers too...

[ladynow81]

Originally Posted by queenhrosie

Yeah, I hear what you're saying and I am definitely not jumping into another surgery lol we don't have the money even if I was going to be crazy and try that! I think it bothers me the most because they don't make me feel sexy AT ALL. I know there could be more factors at work here ... but my sex drive is non existant lately and when I try to go there TMI lol, I look down and they they make me kind of like "ugh," just because I never thought such large breasts were what was sexy (no offense to anyone, it's just my personal choice I guess...). I never thought that much into it before breast augmentation though ... I am straight so it wasn't like I was constantly thinking about what was hot on a woman. I feel bad for my husband because he is ALWAYS turned on lately (big boobie kind of guy haha) and I am like, the opposite.

Again, I am not saying anyone's choice to have larger breasts is ugly, it just doesn't appear to be something I am turned on by.

HOPEFULLY I am just having some weird version of the boobie blues though and will get over it. I don't particularly like that I paid 8 grand for something that I randomly decided I didn't want anymore ... I hope to come back in 18 months and tell you all that I actually love them now. I hope!!

I have been through so many ups and downs with my breast augmentation, so i do understand, it is soooo much more emotional then I would have ever guesed. You are still early out and have a lot of healing to do emotionaly and physicaly. I really am sorry you are so uncomfertable with yourself now, no one deserves that. If in the end you do descide to get them removed or go smalle there is nothing wrong with that. The point in this sergery is to mak you feel better abut yourself and that is what your goal was, it just did not work for you. I would give yourself till you are at least 6 months out if not a year to make that descision, I know it takes your body a full year to heal after having a baby so I am guessing that it takes about the same for a sergery like this. I wish you the best.

[Akhmatova]

Originally Posted by ladynow81

I have been through so many ups and downs with my breast augmentation, so i do understand, it is soooo much more emotional then I would have ever guesed. You are still early out and have a lot of healing to do emotionaly and physicaly. I really am sorry you are so uncomfertable with yourself now, no one deserves that. If in the end you do descide to get them removed or go smalle there is nothing wrong with that. The point in this sergery is to mak you feel better abut yourself and that is what your goal was, it just did not work for you. I would give yourself till you are at least 6 months out if not a year to make that descision, I know it takes your body a full year to heal after having a baby so I am guessing that it takes about the same for a sergery like this. I wish you the best.

Thanks, I appreciate that. I needed to vent and I felt like if I said this to any other people they would be like "wtf you paid 8 grand for something you weren't even sure you want??" You guys are great!!

[Horizon41]

Well I am right there with you on being too big my DH and I have had long talks and he wants me if my right CC boob does not get better and I have to have surgery again to talk to the PS about going smaller. I feel like I made a mistake with my size I was so happy with them at first size he squeezed the 500's in for me but they are dropping and fluffing and I am heading towards gg/h bras sizes since I am so thin and I never wanted that. Anwyay I totally understand where you are coming from. DH kids about them a lot in a fun sort of way. I never wore a bra before I had nothing, and I have to be in one now since I am still having probems but I cannot imagine running around without one since they totally stick out like headlights LOL Like you said we spend money and are still not totally happy with ourselves and its frustrating <sigh>

[Horizon41]

Originally Posted by queenhrosie

Do you know any that ... don't look 'granny-like' lol. I am pissy as it is because I can't wear wire bras for 6 months and most wireless look so granny!! I am not overly fond of my boobie size, but that doesn't mean I want to wear a bra my grandma would wear hahaha!! I was thinking about the minimizers too...

Yeah I had to buy a ugly playtex thing since I also cannot wear underwire and I am in a big size and I agree they look like old lady bras