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Old 12-16-2009, 06:33 AM   #1
 
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behavior changes after BA

Hi all,

My husband is worried that my personality will change after the BA. We are VERY happily married, though he's always been a little jealous. I really want to ensure him that I will not suddenly be changing on him. Did anyone that was previously low key suddenly become very extroverted? I'm not shy, but def not the life of the party.

Any suggestions on ensuring that he's still my priority?
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Old 12-16-2009, 06:42 AM   #2
 
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I haven't changed at all. Someone said last night to me that the only difference in me other than being able to fill out a top better is that I'm smiling a lot more now.

Implants don't charge the core of who you are. It won't change your heart.
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Old 12-16-2009, 06:48 AM   #3
 
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Wink

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coconuts View Post
I haven't changed at all. Someone said last night to me that the only difference in me other than being able to fill out a top better is that I'm smiling a lot more now.

Implants don't charge the core of who you are. It won't change your heart.
Perfectly said..... What sounds to me that you may need to work on your hubbies small jealousy feelings - I don't mean that offensively - but maybe he should concentrate on "smiling" with you like coconuts said..... Just keep comunicating with him and I'm sure you guys will be fine. Take him clothes shopping and bra shopping with you - my bf loves that! Makes him feel more secure and "part of the whole boobie thing" Just remind and reassure him that you made this decision WITH HIM and you're going to both enjoy the transition into more fun with your boobies and a brighter personality to show for it. It's always been there - now it just shines a little brighter....

Good luck hun!
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Old 12-16-2009, 06:58 AM   #4
 
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I have a similar situation... I am a bartender and my boyfriend thinks once I get my BA I am going to flirt with my customers more- take it too far I guess is what he is worried about. Also, he is afraid of the attention I am going to get from them and he thinks some wealthy man is going to come sweep me off my feet, lol. He is silly... he should know by this time if I wanted to be a gold digger, I very well could have... any woman could be a gold digger if she reeeeeeeeeeally wanted to! But I am happy with him and our wonderful life together...
He HATES going shopping... I had to really beg him to go to the mall for VS's buy one get one half off deal on all bra's so I could buy some randomly sized large bras... so shopping together I can almost guarantee is out of the question.
He is not very jealous at all... but he is just afraid im gonna go for an easy life if it presented itself to me... and of course he thinks it will ALL the time once I have my boobs!

Men are silly...
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Old 12-16-2009, 08:36 AM   #5
 
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My hubby knew that I was a wild child before the BA and will be one after. He also knows he doesn't have a thing to worry about, I am hopelessly, madly in love and lust for him even after 16 years.
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Old 12-16-2009, 08:36 AM   #6
My name is babyfromheaven and I am a bra-aholic.
 
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My husband was worried about it too. He wasn't worried about me leaving him, but he was worried that I would become more outgoing. I didn't. The only things he has noticed is that I walk a little straighter and taller, I smile more, and just a general overall increase in confidence. Really he gets the benefits of that. What guy doesn't appreciate a little extra confidence in your bedroom life? That's where the biggest difference is.
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Old 12-16-2009, 08:43 AM   #7
 
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My bf hasn't come right out and said that he is worried, but I can tell that he is. He is excited about all of the revealing clothing I can wear afterwards, he's not a jealous guy at all. However, I have a friend who went from being a normal, cute girl, to what he calls a "superstar *****" after her BA. She immediately started fake tanning, dyed her brown hair platinum blonde and now wears only revealing clothes with glitter lotion. Complete personality and looks overhaul. She called the other day and wanted to take me out for a "boobie celebration party" when I'm ready. The bf said nuh uh, not with her. I don't think the core of who I am will change, as it did with her, but I will be more confident and more willing to show the girls off. I didn't just pay a small fortune to keep them covered up. Some guys are more willing to accept that fact than others.
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Old 12-16-2009, 09:15 AM   #8
 
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It hasn't changed my heart at all. Although I do feel a lot more confident wearing cute tops and such.

At first my BF was all for it! He was excited that I was excited. But once he realized all the stares that I was getting he got a bit jealous..Now he is back to loving the attention because he knows that at the end of the day, he takes me home with him.
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Old 12-16-2009, 10:02 AM   #9
 
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WOW, thanks for all the positive support. My hub and I have been together for 19 years and married for 13 of those. I have wanted implants this entire time and we finally made the decision together. He's comfortable with the $$$ part of it and has said he will be there 100% for me. It's a great feeling. He has been to all the appt's with me. I think he's looking forward to it, although he's loved me as a not nearly AA for years. I just have to focus attention on him when we're out and not get swept up in new unwanted attention.
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Old 12-16-2009, 10:20 AM   #10
 
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Smile So true

Quote:
Originally Posted by fancyk17 View Post
Perfectly said..... What sounds to me that you may need to work on your hubbies small jealousy feelings - I don't mean that offensively - but maybe he should concentrate on "smiling" with you like coconuts said..... Just keep comunicating with him and I'm sure you guys will be fine. Take him clothes shopping and bra shopping with you - my bf loves that! Makes him feel more secure and "part of the whole boobie thing" Just remind and reassure him that you made this decision WITH HIM and you're going to both enjoy the transition into more fun with your boobies and a brighter personality to show for it. It's always been there - now it just shines a little brighter....

Good luck hun!
I think she is so right! Your husband should come to feel even more sure of himself because now his woman has bangin boobs and a happy heart!
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Old 12-16-2009, 10:50 AM   #11
 
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I'll be honest here, my DH first told me I couldn't get implants when I went for my first appointment three years ago. Its kinda funny though, when we finally made the decision together to get them done, HE approached me about it. He told me that he finally felt comfortable, and that I could have them if I wanted them.

Now he brags about them, and even asks me to show them to his friends. He thinks it is so hot that other men stare.

I guess every guy is different, but when he finally get to enjoy them, I promise he will forget about all of his insecurities!
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Old 12-16-2009, 11:26 AM   #12
 
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I highly doubt you will change. Only maybe at first there will be a little mood swings just because of the stress that your body is under, but that will subside pretty quickly. Just remember, if he is a jealous person, there really isn't anything that is going to change that. I think being jealous is something that you developed when you were young... I use to date a guy who was extremely jealous and no matter what I did nothing helped it. Now I am with someone who is not jealous at all and I haven't done anything different... so it really is something that is just part of who he is. So don't think it is you. But all this will do is make you feel more confident about yourself. (Especially if you are doing it for yourself and no one else). Maybe make sure that he is really a part of this process. As you are educating yourself, educate him as well so that way maybe he can fully understand this whole process, it may put him at ease a little bit.

Good luck!!
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Old 12-17-2009, 01:14 PM   #13
 
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Getting implants doesnt define who you are, Getting implants changes how you look and just makes for a better you. Getting breast implants cant change you..Unless you let it.
My cousin and I both recently have gotten implants and unfortunately she has changed for the worse, She went from very shy and quiet to "My sh*t dont stick" type of girl. Shes not pleasant to be around and is always half naked.
Now being proud of what she has is one thing but being totally nasty and conceited it another, but once again like I said that was her choice.
I changed too, I feel more confident naked and just overall more happy with the appearance of my body. However since my BA I have been very conservative always covered up and making sure I dont look "too big"
So little things change but not who I am..Im sure your husband will be VERY pleased once you have your new additions!
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Old 12-17-2009, 02:02 PM   #14
 
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Im completely the same Bitchy and all LOL... I smile more, I feel better about myself and I stand up for myself with ease now...
I guess you could say complete confidence turn around since I smile more yeah people notice me more and Im all around more friendly and happy but I still love my man only...nothing has changed toward him even right now we are having a rough time but because of my boobs im not doing anything or acting any different..
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Old 12-17-2009, 02:39 PM   #15
 
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When I first brought up the idea of a BA, my husband made jokes that as soon as I got boobs, some doctor or lawyer would take notice of me and he'd be stuck paying half the price of new toys he can't play with... but that was a joke... that he made TO MY DAD.

I am not a different person than I was, I'm still a smartass, outgoing girl with a good and sincere heart. While my hubby may have been a little nervous, I know he's proud as heck to have an attractive wife, and I think he's even more proud now that I seem to be the "total package" in his eyes.

Not that my boobs make me any more valuable to him.. I mean, he married me small chest and all. In his own words, everyone appreciates a nice pair of boobs.


As for your hubby being afraid you'll change.. that's his own insecurity. He's probably insecure you'll leave him once you have breasts because you'll be more confident. Maybe he thinks you'll have more options once you have this done - I know that's one thing my husband did say. While he looks at me and is happy to have an attractive wife, he was concerned the balance would be out of whack because now I'd be an attractive woman with boobs.. which might bring the attention of bigger men (or at least richer men) silly boy!

Communicate with him. Reassure him. Only you know what goes on behind closed doors in your relationship. If there have been rocky parts, he's probably worried that if you go through those again, you'll feel more empowered to leave him. If he's making a correlation to someone he knows having this happen.. he should remember that he only hears one side of the story. The guy that lost his girl might have totally deserved it.

IMO, people usually change themselves because they:
A) want to because they're unhappy
B) were misrepresenting themselves in the first place
C) Were so insecure, they never felt confident enough before because they placed so much importance on boobs, which is ridiculous in the first place

Implants don't change them. They change themselves.
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Old 12-17-2009, 07:36 PM   #16
 
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My spouse of 19 years just keep reminding me they are not going to be for "showing off to other guys". Duh. But I am going up 2+ cups sizes, someone will notice.

I had rhinoplasty in 1995 - and it totally gave my self-confidence such a BOOST - I honestly don't think I would have had the confidence to go for certain jobs / stand up for myself without it. I HATED my birth nose (which was then also broken 3+ times, so it was a mess).

I see my BA as being in the same light - me, just better.
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