Jen's Breast Augmentation Story

Why I Wanted Breast Implants

For most of my life I never thought much about my breasts. They were neither big nor small, they were just breasts to me. It wasn't until after I had my last child in July of 1998 that I really started thinking about my breasts as well as other aspects of my appearance. Not only did my pregnancy take its toll on my breast size and shape, but also it made me stop and analyze myself and how I looked and felt about my appearance in general. I had just turned 30 years old and something inside me prompted me to make some pretty drastic changes. I started exercising religiously which was a first for me. I probably exercised more in the first 3 months after my son was born than I did in my entire life! I also cut off all of my hair, which was the most drastic thing I have ever done...besides getting married at the age of 19.

After exercising on a regular basis for a year, I finally came to the conclusion that there was no way I was ever going to get rid of the saddle bags on the backs of my upper thighs. I hated it so much and it had been a problem for me since puberty. Unfortunately, it was due to genetics and there was no way it was ever going to go away without liposuction. So with my husband's support, I decided to have it done. At my consultation I felt very uncomfortable at first because I felt the doctor would take one look at me and say, "You are so thin! Why are you here?" But he didn't. In fact, he felt that I was the perfect candidate for liposuction since I wasn't overweight and I only had this one isolated area that had fat build up. So in June of 1999 I had tumescent liposuction on my lateral thighs and it was one of the best things I had ever done for myself.

 

My Decision to Get Breast Implants

I felt so much better about my appearance; at least I did about my lower half. When I realized how simple and relatively painless the liposuction was, I really started thinking long and hard about breast augmentation. It was something I always talked about prior to this, but it was always discussed with my husband in a less-than-serious manner. Kind of like saying "I need a nose job" but not ever imagining that I would really do it. Finally my husband said, "Well, if you want to have this done you'd better start looking for a plastic surgeon." I couldn't believe it! Was I really going to get breast implants? I always imagined that breast augmentation was for movie stars and for rich women. Yeah, I was a bit naïve.

By the time I decided to get breast implants it was now March 2000 and we were supposed to move from Massachusetts to Alaska that summer because my husband is in the military. If I was going to have this done, it had to be done before we moved! Or at least that's what I thought at the time. So, I started looking for a plastic surgeon in the area, but I didn't really know how or where to start. I didn't know about the many web sites and forums available on the Internet, which allow you to research your doctor and get personal recommendations from other patients. I didn't want to find my surgeon in the yellow pages and I didn't know of anyone personally whom had this procedure done, so I called up the dermatologist who did my liposuction and asked him for a plastic surgeon referral. He gave me only one name and said he was very good. I felt that was all I needed to get started so I called up this surgeon's office and scheduled a consultation. I was able to get in right away.

 

My Consultation

My husband went with me to my consultation. The first thing they had us do was sit in a little room and watch a Mentor video about breast augmentation and how it has changed so many women's lives and how wonderful they feel about themselves now. This all sounded so great! I just knew I was making the right decision. When the video was over we were taken into an exam room and I was told to take my top off and put on one of their lovely gowns that open up in the front. Is this how it's suppose to work? Anyway, when the surgeon finally came in to see me my first thought was "Oh, he's creepy-looking!" I know, I know. You shouldn't judge someone by his or her appearance. He asked me what I wanted and I told him I wanted to be a full C. I had researched breast augmentation on the net prior to my visit with him, so I knew I wanted smooth, round, Mentor or McGhan implants placed under the muscle via crease incisions. When I told him this he agreed. He recommended Mentor implants over McGhan, which was fine with me. He was a very agreeable man. He never really discussed any complications/ risks with me, only that he had very few. That's easy to say now isn't it!? My consultation was very quick, less than an hour if I include watching the video.

After meeting with the surgeon we met with his office manager in a small conference room to discuss the cost of this procedure. She told me the cost is $5550, but if I decided to have the procedure done then they would deduct the $165 consultation fee from the price. My husband and I looked at each other and he indicated for me to go ahead and schedule a date if that's what I wanted. As I said earlier, I had to have this done right away if it was going to be done at all; or at least that is what I thought. I asked what the soonest date would be and she said, "April 20th". That was about 5 weeks away. I elected not to have any more consultations since this surgeon appeared to be more than qualified. He had all the experience and credentials, and was the Chief of Plastic Surgery at the hospital. I asked to view some of his before and after breast augmentation photos, and while she was able to show me numerous facial procedures he had performed, she was only able to show me one (yes, that's correct..."1") breast augmentation photo. It looked very nice, but I should have walked out when that was all they could produce for me. But I didn't, and I went ahead and had her schedule me for April 20, 2000.

 

The Pre-Op

10 days before my scheduled surgery date, I had to have my pre-operative work done. This consisted of blood work, documenting my medical history, getting my prescriptions for pain pills and antibiotics, and signing all the consent forms, including the Mentor consent form. Oh, and I had to pay for my procedure that day as well. When I met with my surgeon again he told me to bring in photos on the day of my surgery, of how I would like my breasts to look.

The final days leading up to my surgery were stressful, to say the least! I started questioning my decision to have this done, but I kept my concerns to myself because I didn't want my husband to start having doubts also. During this time I discovered the breast augmentation forum and what a wonderful discussion tool this was! I only wish I had found these sites sooner. I searched and searched for anyone who had used this same surgeon, but there wasn't anyone. He wasn't on any of the recommended surgeon lists either. In fact, there were NO surgeons listed for the entire state of Massachusetts. I was really surprised because Boston is a big city. I would have thought for sure there would be a plastic surgeon listed. It didn't matter to me though because I had already made my decision.

 

My "First" Surgery

I wasn't scheduled for surgery until 2:30 in the afternoon and because I had to stop eating the night before, I was a real bear! Man, was I ever hungry! I arrived at the hospital at 1:00 PM and the nurse couldn't understand why they had me show up so early. I guess my surgery was at 3:30 PM and not 2:30 PM. So needless to say I had to sit in the waiting area for quite a long time and I sure was nervous. The longer I sat there, the more nervous I got. I wish I had been given an early morning slot. Too late now.

Finally I was taken into the day surgery area full of beds and patients, only separated by a wrap around curtain. I got into bed and the anesthesiologist came in and started asking me a lot of questions and explaining the type of anesthesia she would be using, which was general. She was very nice and had a good sense of humor, which I really needed at this point. The nurse inserted an IV in my hand after numbing the area with a shot and gave me something to help me relax, but I was still wide-awake. After this took place my surgeon came in. I showed him photos of my "dream boobs" and also said that I would like to be a bit bigger than we had previously discussed. I requested a baby D and that was fine. He and his assistant (this was a teaching hospital so my surgeon had a resident plastic surgeon watching and participating in the entire procedure) sat me up in bed and began marking up my chest with a marker. After that I was wheeled into the operating room and placed on the table. All I remember is seeing several masked faces and a lot of talking that made no sense. In a matter of seconds I was asleep.

 

My Recovery

When the anesthesia started wearing off and I woke up after my surgery in the recovery area, it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. The pressure was incredible! I really felt very little pain, just intense pressure. The nurse was quick to get me out of bed and sitting upright in a chair. She gave me apple juice and saltine crackers, which I ate right up. After all, it had now been almost 24 hours since I ate last. I remember looking out the window as I sat in this chair and was surprised to see that it was dark outside. Come to find out it was 7:30 in the evening. I couldn't believe I was asleep for so long. The surgery itself took just about 1 hour. After an hour or so of being awake, the nurse called up my husband and he picked me up and took me home. Wouldn't you know it though, the anesthesia had worn off so much by this time that the pain became quite bad and every time we hit even the slightest bump in the road I cringed. Going over railroad tracks was the worst! Fortunately, we only lived 15 minutes away.

When we got home my husband helped me into bed and gave me my Percocet for the pain. I was really starting to hurt a lot, but the medication took affect right away. I don't really remember what happened the rest of that night, only that I needed help getting in and out of bed so I could use the bathroom. I had to sleep while sitting up in bed because of the pressure I felt on my chest.

The next morning I had my first follow-up with my surgeon. I was told to be at his office at 9:00 AM, which I was. There had been some sort of scheduling error that resulted in me sitting there for an hour before my surgeon arrived. I was in so much pain because I took my pain medication when I first woke up, which was early, and it was wearing off fast. When my surgeon arrived I was taken into the exam room where he took off my surgical bra and I saw my new breasts for the first time. I wasn't impressed at all. They were high and hurting, and didn't seem very big to me. He had to remind me that it would take time for them to settle. He went on to inform me that he used 395cc PIP saline breast implants. I had no idea what they were because I had never heard of PIP implants before. He told me they were pre-filled with saline. He also said that they were new and he liked how soft they felt. He said that they were softer than the Mentor or McGhan saline implants, more like silicone. I asked him how many other patients have received PIP implants and he said I was only the second or third patient he had used them on. I was really feeling like a guinea pig at this point. I also asked about the incisions and if they were larger now because he used a pre-filled implant and he said, "No, the incision length is the same." Hmmm...how is that possible? Does he use 2-1/4" long incisions for ALL types of implants? He also explained the massaging to me and gave me a sheet of paper with massaging instructions on it. He told me that I must massage my implants 3 times a day for as long as I have them.

When I got home I began to research the PIP implants. I didn't find much information on them, only that the FDA is going to make a final decision soon on what implants will be approved, and that the PIP implants would not be approved for whatever reason. This was really disturbing to me and I wished I had never even looked up that information. I tried to not worry about it and just wanted to start enjoying my new breasts.

 

My New Breasts

I had my surgery on a Thursday and by Saturday afternoon I was feeling pretty good and felt that I didn't need to sit in bed any longer. I still had a lot of pressure, but the pain was minimal. Sunday I felt even better and my husband took some photos of my new breasts. I was really happy that I had this done, but was afraid to return to work because I worked for an engineering firm and it was predominantly male! I managed to hide my larger breasts with a loose fitting top and returned to work on Monday.

When I returned to work, I don't think anyone noticed. I was a size that was easy to hide if I chose to, which was nice. It was almost May at this point and I knew we were moving at the end of June, so I only had to hide them at work for another month or so.

By Wednesday, 6 days after my surgery, I felt pain-free and was back to doing most everything that I was doing before my surgery...except for exercising. I was able to vacuum and carry my 25-pound son around. I felt like Wonder Woman! I began exercising lightly again at 2 weeks post. I loved my new breasts.

 

My Illness

On May 9, almost 3 weeks after my surgery, I became very ill. I was at work at the time and I felt fine in the morning, but by afternoon my left breast began hurting very badly. I had no idea why because I was feeling perfectly fine earlier that day. I went into the restroom and tried to massage it, hoping it would feel better, but the pain continued. I went back to my desk and tried to work, but I couldn't. The pain was becoming intense and it was even affecting my left arm. In less than an hour after the pain started, I began shivering uncontrollably and had the chills so bad that I turned on the space heater that I had next to my desk. My legs began to ache as well. I quickly emailed a friend of mine who had breast augmentation surgery on the same day as I and told her what was happening. I told her I thought I had the flu or something. This was the first thing that came to mind because my husband had the flu only 2 weeks prior. I was suppose to work until 5 PM but decided to leave work at 4:30 because I had a very long commute and I wanted to get ahead of the traffic. Driving home was difficult because I couldn't use my left arm because it hurt too badly.

When I got home I took 2 of the last 3 remaining pain pills I had left over from my surgery and went to bed. When my husband got home he came into the room to ask what was wrong and I just started crying because I was so scared. I didn't understand what was happening to me. He tried to reassure me that it was only the flu. By this time both breasts were hurting and my temperature was 103.5F. I was scheduled to see my surgeon the next day for my 3-week follow-up. My husband urged me to cancel it until I was feeling better, but I insisted on seeing him...regardless of how bad I felt.

My husband drove me to my appointment the next day and when my surgeon examined my breasts they were red and hot to the touch, and still quite painful. I still had the fever, chills and aching as well. My surgeon felt that I needed a blood test so he sent me over to the hospital to meet with a physician in Internal Medicine. My husband had to drop me off there because he had to be home for when our oldest son got off the school bus, but I told him I would call him when I was ready to be picked up.

I had to wander around the hospital for a while before I found where I needed to go. Once I met with the doctor he took me into the exam room and began taking my blood pressure. He thought there was something wrong with his blood pressure device because my pressure was so low; only 60 over 40. He took it with me sitting up and lying down. It was a bit better when I was lying down, but not by much. He didn't understand how I could have walked into this place with my pressure so low. I mentioned that my blood pressure has never been very high; usually 100 over 70, but still, this was much too low. He then took my temperature and it was 103F, my pulse was 130 and I was severely dehydrated as well. He began asking me a lot of questions like how long ago I got my tattoos and if the place was clean. I explained that it was over a year ago and that the needles were individually wrapped and sterile. He then suggested that I stay overnight so they can run some tests. I agreed. What else could I say? So I then called my husband and told him that they were admitting me and he was shocked. All this fuss over the flu?

 

My Infection

By the time I was put in a room it was around 6 PM. I was immediately hooked up to an IV in an attempt to raise my blood pressure with fluid. After 6 or 7 bags of IV fluid my pressure didn't budge much at all. I was continuously being poked and probed by numerous doctors (as I said earlier, this was a teaching hospital). One doctor even came in and asked when was the last time I used a tampon. It had been several months. He asked if I could have accidentally left one inside me! Oh my God! I said, "No way". I didn't understand why I was being asked all these questions and the doctor expressed concern that I may have Toxic Shock Syndrome. They called in an Infectious Disease specialist who examined me and the red area on my breasts. It looked like a sunburn. He too felt that I had TSS.

After all the IV fluid that was pumped into me, I still had no urge to go to the bathroom so a catheter had to be inserted. Could this experience possibly get ANY worse for me??? Several hours had gone by and my blood pressure was still too low so I was taken to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) at around midnight. Doctors were working on me all the time so I didn't get any sleep at all. At 2 AM they brought in portable ultrasound equipment to examine my breasts. Nothing was visible. They informed me that they were going to give me a CT scan in the morning, which hopefully would reveal something. That never happened.

 

The Removal of My Implants

At 6 AM the next morning my plastic surgeon came in to speak with me. He said that he had consulted with the other attending physicians and that they all agreed that my implants are probably infected and must be removed as soon as possible or else I could die. My white blood cell count was very high which is a sure sign of infection. I was devastated! Not just because I was going to lose my implants, but because of the severity of all this.

I was wheeled into the day surgery area again where I was prepped for surgery. My body was so swollen from all of the IV fluid that when they tried to remove the rings from my fingers, they couldn't. They tried ice and soap, but the rings wouldn't budge. They eventually had to cut the rings off. There went my wedding ring of more than 12 years.

My surgeon tried to talk me into allowing him to use only a local anesthetic to remove my implants and I freaked out. There was NO WAY. So again I was taken to the operating room and given general anesthesia.

When I awoke I was back in my room in the ICU and even though my implants had been removed, I still didn't feel much better. My surgeon came in and told me that both implants were infected and full of puss. He told me not to worry because he can put the implants back in after everything heals. That was the least of my concerns.

I remained in ICU for 3 days because my blood pressure still remained too low. In addition to the IV fluid, the doctors were also administering 2 different types of antibiotics because they still didn't know what type of infection I had, and also medication to raise my blood pressure; all this through my IV. They concluded that the medication was too much for a single IV and after moving it around from one arm to the other, my veins were shot and difficult to find because my whole body was swollen from fluid. Later that night the doctors prepped my neck and inserted a catheter which consisted of a tube going into an artery in my neck, with 3 smaller tubes branching off of the main tube for my medication. I was also told that this would make drawing blood from me much easier since they would no longer have to use a vein in my arm. They can just take it from this tube in my neck. I felt like the Borg on Star Trek.

The doctors had determined that what I had was a Group A Strep infection with possible TSS. My blood pressure was under control finally and they were able to remove the tube from my neck because I was now down to only one type of antibiotic. By day 4 I was taken out of ICU and put back in a regular room. But before I was moved, a PICC line (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter) had to be inserted in the crease of my right arm. This line consisted of a flexible tube about the size of a spaghetti noodle (only much, much longer!) and it was fed into a vein in my arm, up over my shoulder, and around and down towards my heart. This was basically a long-term IV that could remain in my arm after I'm discharged.

 

Finally Home Again

After spending 5 days in the hospital I was finally discharged. I felt very tired and weak...oh, and flat! It was so nice to finally be home, but my ordeal wasn't quite over yet. A home care nurse had to come by my home and set me up with a portable IV pump that would administer Penicillin intravenously around the clock for 1 week. This device fit into a fanny pack and hooked up to the PICC line that had been inserted in my arm. At least it wasn't too uncomfortable. After a week the line in my arm was removed and I was put on oral penicillin and I was finally able to return to work. I was asked a ton of questions and didn't quite know how to answer them all since nobody knew I had breast implants, so I just said that I had a strep infection but didn't know why.

 

My Decision To Have My Implants Replaced

After a few weeks I felt normal again and even though I was adamantly against ever having breast implants again when all of this occurred, I now felt like a part of me was gone and I wanted it back. I wanted my implants replaced.  My husband was totally against it and I felt so selfish, but it was what I really wanted. My husband soon found out that I wasn't going to take "No" for an answer.

It was now June and we were going to be moving in just a few weeks. Even though the soonest I could have my implants replaced was in August, I had to make plans for this right away. I contacted my surgeon's office and he finally agreed to give me a redo for no charge. But I still had to wait 3 months. No problem. I went ahead and had them schedule me for August 1, 2000 and got my pre-op paperwork completed before moving. I decided that I wanted to be larger next time and I wanted McGhan implants because of their warranty, and my surgeon agreed to this.

On June 26, 2000 my 2 kids and I flew to California, my home state, to stay with my parents for 2 months while my husband headed for Alaska to start his new job and to find us a place to live. The day before my surgery to have my implants replaced, my sister and I flew back to Massachusetts.

 

My Redo Surgery

I barely made it to the hospital on time because of a cancelled connecting flight out Philadelphia. We ended up getting on another flight that went to Rhode Island and then a shuttle drove us up to Manchester, New Hampshire which is where our original flight was suppose to arrive. Even though my surgeon was in Massachusetts...our luggage was at the Manchester airport! Because we got there well after midnight, my sister and I had to sit in this empty airport until the car rental place opened up at 6 AM. Our luggage was locked up as well, because we were not there the night before to claim it. By 6:30 AM we had our luggage and our rental car and were headed for Boston...at the worst possible time of the morning with the commute and all. I should have taken all of this as a sign...a very BAD sign.

I went through the same pre-operative procedure as the last 2 times, so I knew the routine. The nurse inserted my IV and I was prepped for surgery yet again. My surgeon was running late (again) but at least they had me in a bed so I didn't mind waiting. I was exhausted since I hadn't slept in over 24 hours. I was looking forward to the general anesthesia! I was tired!

My surgeon finally came in and informed me that the only McGhan implants they had at this location were textured. Nothing like being prepared! I said I didn't want textured, I wanted smooth. He said he'd have to use Mentor then, but I told him that McGhan had a better warranty. So he had someone get on the phone to the Mentor representative and the rep agreed to match the McGhan warranty and it was documented on my consent form. I also told him that I wanted the 425cc implants overfilled to 450cc and he agreed without any hesitation. Once again I was wheeled into the operating room and off to sleep I went. When I awoke from surgery I didn't have the same type of pressure on my chest as I did the first time. I guess I was still stretched out from my first set of implants. The nurse told me that I was scheduled for a follow-up the next day with my surgeon's resident assistant because my surgeon is now on vacation. How convenient. I never saw my surgeon again.

My sister picked me up from the hospital and took me back to our hotel room. I was out of it for the remainder of the day because of the anesthesia.

 

Is This Normal?

My sister drove me back to the hospital the next morning for my follow-up appointment. It was then that the resident doctor took off my surgical bra and looked my breasts over thoroughly for fear of infection. I noticed right away that my implants were very close together and that the skin over my sternum was lifted about a half an inch. I asked him why it looked like that and he replied with, "It had to be done that way in order to achieve the look that you requested." Maybe not those exact words, but something close to that.  I didn't quite understand what he meant by that statement, but I didn't question it any further. I just assumed it was swelling and that it would go away eventually.

I stayed in Massachusetts for a week after my surgery and I was told to come in and be checked every day, except for the weekend. Everyone was so worried about another infection, yet I was more concerned about why my cleavage looked the way it did. Looking back now, I should have insisted on a better explanation.

 

I Have Symmastia

I returned to California and kept my concerns to myself. I never told my parents what was bothering me, and I pretended like everything was fine when I talked to my husband on the phone. I still didn't know what was wrong with me and why I looked this way, but it definitely was not normal. 2 weeks passed after having my surgery and my cleavage was showing no signs of improving and it was very sore. I emailed my friend, the one who had her BA done on the same day as my first BA, and told her about all of this. She said that she had heard about something similar to this on another website. She thought it was called " breadloafing". So I got on the Internet and went to this site and sure enough, there it was. What I had was Symmastia, I was just sure of it. I read about what it is, how it is caused, and what it takes to repair it...another surgery. After I read all of this I just went to bed and cried.

On August 24 my kids and I made the trip up to Alaska, to our new home. We now live on an island with no road access to the mainland and definitely no plastic surgeons. When my husband asked to see my new breasts I started to cry. He had no idea that I had a problem. I told him what it was and that it would require more surgery to repair it. He told me not to worry and that it can be repaired within the next year. I expressed my concerns about how there are no plastic surgeons here and we agreed that the only option would be to travel to another state.

I contacted several lawyers back in Boston about a possible medical malpractice suit against my surgeon who did this to me. None seemed very optimistic and also said that Massachusetts is one of the most difficult states to win a malpractice suit. The surgeon almost always prevails. One lawyer even went as far as to say that if it went to trial, the jury may look at me and think that I deserved whatever I got because I chose to have elective cosmetic surgery! So I pretty much gave up on the idea of a lawsuit.

 

My Refund

Since a lawsuit was no longer an option for me, I chose to go another route. I would try to get a refund from my surgeon. I didn't know quite how to go about doing this, and I had never heard of anyone receiving one before but I figured I would try. I mean, what did I have to lose? I knew that another surgery would cost a lot of money and I already paid a lot of money for my previous failed breast augmentation attempts. So I decided to gather up all of my anger and thoughts and write my surgeon a letter expressing my total dissatisfaction in my results and to basically demand a refund. I even sent a copy to the patient advocate at the hospital, along with photos that I had taken at 6 weeks post. The more time that went by, the worse my condition got.

I received a written response from the advocate right away stating that she would be looking into it. A week or so later I received a letter from my surgeon. He basically denied that he did anything wrong and that he tried to warn me against going to 450cc because of my small chest wall. He said the only way he could get my implants to fit was to dissect further medially which resulted in the appearance I now had, but disagreed with the diagnosis of Symmastia because he felt that I did have a cleavage...it was just small. He then went on to say that he will give me a refund and even offered to do the surgery necessary to "widen my cleavage" for no charge. Yeah, I wish it were that simple!

Several weeks passed and I still hadn't received my refund. So I started writing more letters and making more phone calls, but it got to the point where no one would return my calls or answer my letters. I was getting nowhere. After a couple of months went by I finally I asked my husband for help. All I wanted was to get my advocate on the phone and I knew that my husband was much better at making calls and sounding professional. So I gave him the number and he made some calls for me from work. He wasn't able to get a hold of my advocate, but he did get the name and number of her supervisor as well as the number to the CEO of the hospital. What a guy! So I called my advocate's supervisor and left yet another voicemail message. Well rather than sit around and wait for someone to NEVER return my call, I was able to contact my advocate's supervisor's boss (I hope that makes sense!). I explained to her what this was all about and how my advocate was no longer returning my calls. She assured me that this would be taken care of that day. Sure enough, I left for a while and when I got back there was a message on my answering machine from my advocate stating that my refund check will be mailed out to me within the next week. My persistence had paid off. I was so relieved. I received my refund check in the mail on December 29. It made a nice Christmas present. But that wasn't enough, in my opinion. I felt that my surgeon was getting off far too easily for what he had done to me, so I also filed a formal complaint against him with the Massachusetts Board of Registration in Medicine. This complaint is still pending as far as I know. I don't expect much, if anything, to come from it but if nothing else at least I brought all of this to the board's attention and my surgeon must respond.

 

My New Plastic Surgeon

While all of this was taking place, I was also searching for a new and more competent plastic surgeon to repair my symmastia. I knew that I wanted the best this time. I began searching for surgeons on the various breast augmentation web sites, looking through the lists of recommended surgeons and any patient referrals I could find. I had a couple of surgeons in mind and I email them both and sent them pictures of my condition. I immediately got a reply from one of the two surgeons I emailed. I was so happy to hear back from him so soon and he even took time out of his day to speak with me over the phone about my symmastia and how it should be repaired. After viewing my photos he agreed that the implants were too large for my small frame and that I did in fact have symmastia, since my implants touched in the middle under the skin. He suggested that I wait at least 6 months before having my symmastia repaired. He went on to say that he had never repaired symmastia before, nor had he ever caused it. But he felt that any skilled plastic surgeon could repair it. That was all I needed to hear. I knew he was the surgeon I wanted to do my repair, so I went ahead and had his office schedule me for corrective surgery on February 13, 2001. This was about 4 months away! I had to live with this horrible appearance for what seemed like forever. I was an emotional basket case. I was crying all the time it seemed and I was totally obsessed with all of this. It was extremely difficult to just forget about it when I had to look at myself in the mirror every day.

 

My Repair

Finally, after living with these hideous-looking breasts for more than 6 months, my repair date arrived! I traveled by myself to Portland, Oregon and stayed with some relatives who lived just over the border in Washington. My surgery was scheduled on a Tuesday and I met with my new surgeon the day before. This visit was a consultation, pre-op, and everything else all rolled into one since this was the first time we had met. He said that he wanted to relocate my implants to over the muscle and that a much smaller textured silicone gel breast implant would be best. He recommended 300cc and that was fine with me. He seemed relieved that I was so agreeable. I didn't care what size I was; I just wanted to look normal again. I even told him that if he feels that the repair wouldn't hold with the implants in, then to just leave them out completely. He agreed. What did disturb me the most about all of this was the fact that he would not use permanent sutures for my repair, only the dissolvable type. This was because of my infection. I was now at a greater risk for infection again and if I had permanent sutures inside me then an infection could get inside the sutures and would be very difficult to treat. I had never heard of a successful symmastia repair when dissolvable sutures were used and I expressed my concern to him. He said that there were likely other contributing factors that caused those repairs to fail, not just the suture type. That made sense I guess.

I was then fitted for my bras. I needed a bra that would give me good compression and another bra to be worn backwards (the thong bra) to apply pressure on my cleavage while it heals. After that was taken care of I paid him his fee and signed the patient informed consent form to participate in the McGhan Silicone-Filled Breast Implant Adjunct Clinical Study. I was ready to go!

After getting absolutely no sleep that night because my nerves were totally fried, I arrived at the hospital at 6 AM the next morning. I was so afraid that my procedure would be cancelled if they knew I had a cold and a cough. But I got lucky. My surgery was a go. Once again I went through all the surgery prepping who-hah that I was oh-so familiar with, only this time I knew I was in good hands. After the IV was inserted and I met with the anesthesiologist, my prepping was complete and I was wheeled into the operating room. I don't remember anything else after that.

 

My Repair Recovery

When I awoke from the anesthesia I felt rather nauseous. That was a first for me. After all, I now considered myself a general anesthesia pro! Nonetheless, I wasn't feeling too great. As soon as I was able to, I took a peek under my gown. I saw all the bras and straps around me so I knew that my implants were replaced and not left out. I had mixed emotions about that. In a way I wanted them to be gone for good, just to be done with any further complications. I couldn't help but have negative thoughts after all that I had been through already. I felt better when I reminded myself that this was a different surgeon, one that was highly recommended by many women.

My ride back to my relative's house was not pleasant because for the first time in my life I thought I was going to be carsick. It took more than 30 minutes to get back to their house and one more mile further and I surely would have hurled. I felt awful! I was helped into bed and left with some crackers and pain medication within easy reach and I was out of it for the rest of the day.

The next day I was up and moving around a bit, and not nearly as sore as I thought I would be. I expected much more discomfort than this since I figured I was stitched up quite a bit. I think my lingering cough was far more painful than anything else, but I quickly found out that Percocet is a wonderful cough suppressant!

My surgeon called me that day to see how I was doing. He explained to me that my muscle was equally detached on both sides of my sternum and that he had to keep my implants under the muscle because over the muscle would not work for me. I don't quite know why but I know it had something to do with the repair and NOT due to inadequate tissue coverage. I was disappointed to hear this because I really though that by having my implants on top of my muscle, my recovery would be easier because I wouldn't have the implants putting pressure on my repair. However, I did get a 150cc reduction in my implant size so that alone has got to relieve most of the pressure. Plus I now had textured implants instead of smooth, which would help to hold the implants in place and to prevent them from migrating towards the middle again. At least that was my theory.

I had 2 follow-up appointments with my surgeon after my repair; one at 3 days post and the other at 6 days post. He explained to me that because my muscle was retracted he could only pull it back so far. The fascia was stitched down to my ribs as close to my sternum as he could get it, but I have a very narrow sternum. He also went on to tell me that he raised both of my creases and had to stitch that area back down to my ribs as well. As for reattaching my central skin back to my sternum, he did not use sutures because I had almost no underlying fat. Instead my sternum was scraped to create a fresh wound and by keeping constant pressure on my cleavage with the use of the thong bra and ace bandage roll, my skin will eventually reattach...and it did!

 

The Long Road Back to Normalcy

Once I returned home I was very limited with what I could do. I couldn't lift, push or pull hardly anything at all because I couldn't put any strain on my chest muscles. I never realized how much we use our chest muscles for just about everything! I couldn't even open up my freezer door. And as for simple tasks like pouring a glass of milk or filling up a coffee pot...forget about it. I actually felt handicapped. But I was bound and determined to make this work so I never pushed myself, at least not intentionally. There were times when I caught myself attempting to lift something that was too heavy, and I would stop right away. It's not that I didn't have the strength to do these simple tasks, but rather that I wasn't suppose to.

By 6 weeks post-repair I was able to lift a gallon container of milk. This was a very special event for me since I drink so much milk I should have my own personal cow. I was able to start vacuuming again, but not without the help of my hip. I would use my hip to help push the vacuum cleaner along, in fact I still do! Whatever works, right?

I saw my surgeon 6 months after my repair surgery because I had some concerns and needed to know if they were valid or not. I was concerned because my implants were closer together now, so I needed to know if my repaired muscle was still holding up properly. He said that it was fine and that I should try to get on with my life. Try to start picking up my son, go to the gym and do other things that I have been too afraid to do. He said it would be good though to continue to protect my cleavage for as long as I can, because my muscle will continue to strengthen for up to 2 years.

I tried very hard to live a normal life over the next several months after seeing my surgeon, but it was difficult at times. I still continued to keep the rolled up ace bandage in my cleavage when I would sleep and exercise. For the most part this was no big deal, but sometimes I just felt like burning that roll! I was SO tired of wearing it. I just wanted to feel normal and natural again, but how could I when I am constantly being reminded that I have these implants?

 

My Decision To Have My Implants Removed Permanently

Finally, after contemplating it in my head for a long time, I told my husband that I wanted my implants removed permanently. He had absolutely no problem with this, but was very concerned about how I may feel about my appearance after having my implants removed. I told him I didn't care. I couldn't possibly feel any worse about myself than I already did. In fact, I knew I would feel better!

I called up my surgeon's office to schedule a removal date. The soonest I could get in was January 11, 2002. Sounds great! I asked about possibly needing a lift afterwards and they went ahead and scheduled me for removal with full mastopexy - but wouldn't know for sure if I needed it or not until I saw my surgeon the day before my surgery.

 

My Explantation Surgery

I flew to Portland by myself and stayed with some relatives who lived nearby. When I saw my surgeon the day before my surgery, he felt that I did not need full mastopexy. I showed him photos of how my breasts looked before breast augmentation and he felt he could restore my natural breasts without mastopexy scars. He explained how he would "lift" my breasts up to a higher position by stitching my pectoral muscle to the remaining capsule on my ribs. This remaining capsule is what is left over from removing the implants. He explained that it's easy to removed most of the submuscular implant capsule, except for the portion that is stuck to the ribs. I understand that there are some surgeons who remove implants en bloc, meaning they do not leave any of the capsule behind, but my surgeon does not do this with implants placed under the muscle. I trusted my surgeon completely and I knew that he would do the best job he could, with what he had to work with.

I arrived at the hospital the next morning. I wasn't nervous really, and I had my aunt there the whole time before my surgery to keep me company. I'm glad too because my surgery was delayed and I ended up waiting for a few hours. I was already prepped for surgery and had my IV inserted, so I just sat in the bed and talked with my aunt and joked about the entire mess I had put myself in by getting implants. At least I knew it would soon be over.

About 3 hours later I was rolled into the holding area and met with the anesthesiologist. He asked me questions and explained the general anesthesia to me, which I was already quite familiar with! Soon after that I was wheeled into the operating room and put to sleep.

When I awoke in the recovery area I felt pretty good. I had requested anti-nausea medication and the anesthesiologist said he would put some in my IV, which he did. This made a huge difference compared to my last surgery. I was taken back to my room and given crackers and apple juice, which I ate without delay! I was becoming quite sore after the anesthesia wore off. I felt much better after I was given more pain medication.

I saw my surgeon again 3 days later before flying back home. I was concerned about a pocket of fluid on the inside and under my left breast. He informed me that my left implant required more work to remove because of how close it was to the center of my chest. This was because my left pectoral muscle was lifting up again. He used a needle and removed about 7cc's of fluid and told me to keep the area compressed so my skin would stick back down. He also instructed me to keep my breasts compressed with a snug-fitting sports bra for 2 months. This is to help eliminate fluid from building up and most importantly, to help my pectoral muscle (with my breast tissue attached) heal in its new, lifted position.

 

Life After Implants

As of this writing, it has been 3 weeks since I had my implants removed. I feel wonderful so far! I still don't quite feel 100% normal, but I'm well on my way. My chest muscles feel tight and I still feel my chest muscles "pull" whenever I use them, but I'm hoping it will pass. I had this feeling before but always thought it was because I had implants under my muscle and they were putting added pressure on my muscle. I realize now that the feeling is there with or without implants.

It's unfortunate that I had to go through all of this in order to appreciate my natural breasts. I suppose I would have always wondered how I would look and feel with larger breasts if I hadn't gone ahead and got them. Choosing to get implants was huge mistake for me, but I certainly learned a lot from this whole ordeal.

 

 

 

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