Pam's Breast Augmentation Story

 

At the age of 29, I realized that my life-long battle with my weight was getting out of control.  I knew that if I didn't do something about my lifestyle choices I would be hitting two milestones the following year - the big 3-0 and the big 2-0-0.  I was a chubby kid who became an overweight teenager and was very close to being a clinically obese adult.  With the support of my friends, family, and boyfriend, I embarked on a journey toward a healthier life.  Over the following 18 months I lost over 50 pounds (losing an average of 1 or 2 pounds a week) through better food choices and incorporating exercise into my life.  I was really proud of myself for getting down to my goal weight - 5'7", 135 pounds.  I was healthier and stronger than I'd ever been, and I weighed less than I had for about 15 years.  My friends, family, and boyfriend were proud of me, and offered me compliments on my new look.  I should have felt really good about myself, but I didn't.

Every time I took my clothes off, I saw a body that wasn't mine.  In almost every way, that was wonderful.  But because I'd been overweight for so long, and because I had heavy stretch marking (especially on my breasts), some of my skin wasn't bouncing back to fit my new shape.  I started researching what I could do - exercises, creams, anything.  I learned that stretch marks are usually there for life, and that the presence of them means the absence of collagen, which gives skin its elasticity.  I would stand in front of the mirror every morning and every night, holding my hands over my breasts, feeling proud of how I looked, then when I took my hands away, I saw that the one part of my body I'd been proud of as an overweight woman (nice, big, round breasts - albeit a bit saggy) were now loose flaps of skin, hanging off my body like a cocker spaniel's ears.  I cried each time I saw them, and stopped wanting to make love with the lights on.  My boyfriend was incredibly supportive, but I felt like I had worked so hard to make my body strong and healthy, only to lose the one thing that had always made me feel sexy.

I started idly researching plastic surgery at clinics in my area.  I kept coming back to one website which made me feel comfortable.  As an American living abroad in a non-English-speaking country, surgeon & clinic research was somewhat more difficult than it would have been "at home", and as with most things, I approached the situation depending upon a mix of my research and instincts. 

My boyfriend was very clear that he wanted me to do what would make me happy, and that he didn't want to influence my decision either way.  [We got engaged in February.]  After a full year of idle research and intermittent conversations on the subject, I decided to take the plunge and go for a consultation.  I was terribly unhappy with the way my breasts looked, and I really wanted to go back to my happy-go-lucky, confident self I lost along with the weight.  I wondered if I was making the right choice, if I should have tried to live with my body as it was, to accept it, rather than to have surgery.  I e-mailed my best friend, who has known me since I was 13.  He wrote: "You are a young woman, with a long life ahead of you.  You've worked so hard over the past two years to make your body healthy.  There is no reason for you to 'live with' an aspect of your looks that makes you so unhappy."  Reading that made me feel much better about my choice.

The consultation went very smoothly (at my request, we spoke in English to make sure that my so-so Dutch wouldn't cause any misunderstandings).  The surgeon showed me a wide variety of implants, and explained what each type was used for.  When he saw "what we're working with", he strongly recommended McGhan 510 high profiles.  This was the step beyond the implants I'd researched (on English sites) as being the one I wanted - cohesive gels, used a lot in reconstruction work.  Dr. de Maerteleire answered my questions about sensation, breast-feeding, and breast cancer screening sensitively, and he gave me a very confident feeling.  I met with the anesthesiologist, who was very fatherly and warm and who'd had a lot of experience not only in anesthesia, but also both in Dutch and German clinics.  I decided to go ahead with the surgery, and they were able to fit me in just after my 31st birthday - a perfect gift, I thought. 

On the day of surgery I was feeling doubtful again - what if I was ruining my body?  What if this choice would come back to haunt me later in life?  What if the surgery goes wrong and my breasts look even worse after than they did then?  The staff at the clinic was extremely kind, and joked with me as I prepared for surgery.  Before I knew it, I was back in the recovery room, feeling drugged and swollen.  I suddenly regretted choosing a clinic two hours from home, and wished I'd booked into a nearby hotel for the night.  My fiancé drove me home as slowly as traffic would allow, but I felt every speed bump, and longed for our sofa. 

Once home, I relied heavily on the Breast Augmentation Forum for advice and guidance, lolling around with frozen fruit bags on my chest for the first week.  The stitches came out easily with no pain or discomfort (it did feel a bit odd...), and a couple of days later I went to a friend's birthday party at a pub.  I wasn't quite the life of the party, but it felt great to be out of the house for a couple of hours.  After two weeks I was back at work.  I didn't have the strength I'd had previously, but I worked my way back to normal over the next few weeks.  I wore a sports bra 24-7 for the first 3 months, and am now wearing cami tops with shelf bras for sleeping, and "normal" bras for daytime.  While I can feel the implants when I squeeze my breasts, this is due to the looseness of my original breast tissue - the implants themselves feel like firm breasts, and my own breast tissue has kept the same loose (let's say "squishy") quality it had pre-surgery. 

For all intents and purposes, I have my old breasts back.  I decided not to get a lift although I could have had one - I reckoned that pert boobs just wouldn't fit in with the rest of my body, I just wanted my old rack back!  They look great, I have my confidence back, and I find myself spending 90% less time worrying about how I look than I did before - this is back to my "old Pam" personality.  Although I'm aware of the implants, I'm only 4 months post-op.  With time, I'm sure that awareness will fade.  All in all, I think getting implants was one of the best decisions of my life. 

Pam
 

 

 

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