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For the single ladies - question about scars and dating

Old 11-03-2010, 08:36 PM
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For the single ladies - question about scars and dating

I'm having a BA with a Benelli lift next month and was wondering how long the scars take to heal, enough that you don't feel self-conscious about them anymore.... If I was in a relationship, I'm sure I would let my bf/DH see them pretty early in the healing process, but since I'm not in a relationship at the moment, I'm wondering how long until most people felt comfortable with their healing and scars.

I like the Benelli lift because I think the scars end up healing pretty nicely, but I know in the beginning there can be puckering etc around the areola. So.... for the single girls, how long after your lift until you felt comfortable introducing someone new to the girls??
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Old 11-06-2010, 11:36 PM
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I'm not a single lady, but my two cents is I felt comfortable with my scars right away after surgery. Yes they are there and visible, but structurally my breasts look 100% better than they did before, and that alone gives me the confident to show them off! It helps that my husband loves them no matter what!
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Old 11-07-2010, 10:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Rrcc View Post
I'm not a single lady, but my two cents is I felt comfortable with my scars right away after surgery. Yes they are there and visible, but structurally my breasts look 100% better than they did before, and that alone gives me the confident to show them off! It helps that my husband loves them no matter what!
Thanks for the reply! I guess I hadn't thought of it like that....but whatever I end up with will still probably be better than before, even with the scars!

I would just hate to have a weird moment where someone freaks out about the scars..... I'm guessing I'll keep the girls under wraps for a couple of months, just hope it's not too much longer than that!
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Old 11-14-2010, 10:15 PM
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i know how you feel. for me somestimes it almost feels like extra pressure when the guy knows i have implants. i feel like they expect them to be flawlessly perfect. 'at least they're real' is out as an excuse...i wanna hear your dating experiences!
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Old 11-15-2010, 08:21 PM
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Originally Posted by miss_girly View Post
i know how you feel. for me somestimes it almost feels like extra pressure when the guy knows i have implants. i feel like they expect them to be flawlessly perfect. 'at least they're real' is out as an excuse...i wanna hear your dating experiences!

Exactly! A little extra pressure to be "perfect"! And definitely don't want to freak someone out with crazy puckered nipples that they weren't expecting or something like that! Guess I'll just have to wait and see how things heal.....but fingers crossed for a quick recovery. Don't want to be out of commission for too long
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Old 11-27-2010, 12:07 AM
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I had the same question! I haven't had surgery yet, but I think that really, if you decide to see someone new while the scars are still healing, the guy will take your lead as to how to handle it. If you're not bothered by them, he shouldn't be either. Confidence is key!
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Old 11-27-2010, 05:51 AM
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Originally Posted by miss_girly View Post
i know how you feel. for me somestimes it almost feels like extra pressure when the guy knows i have implants. i feel like they expect them to be flawlessly perfect. 'at least they're real' is out as an excuse...i wanna hear your dating experiences!
Yes! I totally feel like this too, like if I have fake boobs then they better at least be perfection! Ahh the pressure!

I had a BA and benelli lift 2 weeks ago, so far my scars are healing amazing and I think will be ready for unveiling very soon! You can FR me if you want to see pics
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Old 11-27-2010, 02:29 PM
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Originally Posted by blossom83 View Post
Thanks for the reply! I guess I hadn't thought of it like that....but whatever I end up with will still probably be better than before, even with the scars!

I would just hate to have a weird moment where someone freaks out about the scars..... I'm guessing I'll keep the girls under wraps for a couple of months, just hope it's not too much longer than that!
Well, some will care and some won't--if someone's going to freak out, maybe it's better to learn that earlier than later. You should show them off when you're ready, not when you think someone else is.

The way I look at it is that there are all sorts of stories written onto my body, one way or another. If someone's looking for perfection, the nasty scar above my hip from an emergency appendectomy or stretch marks here and there are going to be bigger turnoffs than teensy scars on my boobs--and if any of those are big deals, well, then that's a sure sign that I need to keep looking.

So far, none of the people I've really cared about have had any problem at all with any of the marks I've ended up with on my body, accidental or intentional.
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Old 11-28-2010, 12:58 AM
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Thanks for all the replies! I totally agree that if someone is going to freak about the scars then that person shouldn't be seeing them in the first place and that confidence is the most important thing. I guess I was just curious when you all started to feel that confidence come back and that your breasts were looking "normal" again....but I know it's different for everyone, and I'll just have to wait and see how things turn out.
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Old 11-28-2010, 01:14 AM
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I honestly wouldnt worry about the scars. If a man doesnt want to be with you because of that, he isnt worth to keep around since who knows what troulbe he'll cause? Most men wont care (nor notice) about scars.. or even implants! Such as I asked a few guys what they thought about implants all of them had negative replies, now most of them said "great" and the ones that didnt know before didnt guess one bit.. (or at least asked, or acted weirdly on it). So that would be choice whether to tell them or not, but you shouldnt feel bad or embrassed over this. Better to find out about them sooner than later on in life. I honestly.. got comfy with my scars.. now ( 5 weeks) and im still truely not as comfy with them, but it all depends on you
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Old 11-28-2010, 05:15 AM
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I'm single at the moment too. Personally, when I get them, I'm planning on waiting at least two months before I show them off. I'm not concerned with the scars so much, as I just want them to soften up a bit. I man that freaks out because of a few small scars is not worth dating.
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Old 11-28-2010, 05:28 AM
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Focus on the positive! You're getting a BA to feel better about yourself, and to improve something you obviously didn't like so much. Before you are even letting yourself be excited about the improvement in your breasts you are looking at the negative of how someone will react to your scars. We've all tried hiding what we don't like about our bodies to a point, so instead of worrying about the scars, try feeling empowered by the fact that you will have the beautiful shapely boobies you've always wanted!
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Old 11-28-2010, 05:49 PM
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Cool

Personally, I think scars are sexy. They're battle wounds of soldiers of life. They denote maturity, wisdom, toughness, experience, bravery, passion, street cred! If my man can't not only accept my scars but appreciate them, then screw him, I'll move on, faster than you can say "incision!"
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Old 11-28-2010, 10:55 PM
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Honestly I have cried over this scar matter many nights. My whole life I've enjoyed the nearly perfect breasts. After my kids and breast feeding they're not so perfect anymore. My awesome body went down the tubes. But I finally decided to take back my life and make me feel like the hottie I once was. I have lost lots of weight the hard way and can see my curves coming back nicely. I was so excited the only thing I needed help with is my saggy boobs. I was devistated to find out I would have to have a lift done to get the results I wanted. A scar?! How could this be? After all this hard work I can't have those perfect breasts. The news has nearly destroyed the self confidence I have gained. I guess if something as little as a scar is upsetting me, then Im not ready. I just hope that I can be ready one day. A little scar can really turn into a huge road block.
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Old 11-28-2010, 11:18 PM
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Originally Posted by pinkybutterfly View Post
I was devistated to find out I would have to have a lift done to get the results I wanted. A scar?! How could this be? After all this hard work I can't have those perfect breasts. The news has nearly destroyed the self confidence I have gained. I guess if something as little as a scar is upsetting me, then Im not ready. I just hope that I can be ready one day. A little scar can really turn into a huge road block.
It can be a hard balance to strike, and each of us has to figure it out for ourselves. Don't do anything you're not sure you're ready for.
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Old 12-03-2010, 08:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Rrcc View Post
I'm not a single lady, but my two cents is I felt comfortable with my scars right away after surgery. Yes they are there and visible, but structurally my breasts look 100% better than they did before, and that alone gives me the confident to show them off! It helps that my husband loves them no matter what!
This is exactly how I feel too. The scars are a small price to pay for perky, bigger boobs!

If I wasn't in a long term relationship I really wouldn't even see a need to tell anyone early on. By the time things developed into something serious the scars would most likely have faded significantly.
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