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my husband is throwing a fit over me getting a ba..why?

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Old 07-26-2015, 08:16 AM
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Compromise is key in marriage- not threats and emotional guilt/blackmail.

If you don't do this because he is throwing a tantrum and being emotionally abusive- it wont stop there. Once he knows he can control your decision, as far as I'm concerned there will be no respect anymore.

I'd punch a man in the face if he spoke to me that way.. He's gotta realize that the behavior is just making you dislike him, and he will push you away eventually. You've gotta feel loved, supported and respected in a relationship, without that, what is there?!

Your boobs are yours to do whatever you want with to. Don't let him turn it around on you with emotional manipulation.
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Old 07-26-2015, 08:49 PM
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Originally Posted by BAVet View Post
My ex was supportive, but my friend's husband freaked out and also was the same way as yours. I think some men just feel insecure about they're wife getting big boobs. Some think the wife will then turn into a floozy and leave them. Some may think that they won't measure up to their wife anymore once she's improved. Some think their wives are doing it to attract attention from other men and since they're fine with their wives boobs, why would she choose to do it? I think it's all some sort of insecurity. I would try to make sure that he knows that it won't change you as a person or your relationship with him. (((HUGS))) Let him know how much this is hurting you and that you want to sensitive to him, but you need him to be sensitive to you as well and supportive. I hope he comes around!
I just wanted to say good luck on your surgery. We'll be mirror twins. I'm 600cc left, 550ccs right.
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Old 07-27-2015, 03:47 AM
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Awww I'm sorry he's making you feel this way. The ladies are right he sounds like he has has insecurity issues and in a way is scary with the whole divorce and to me that's mental abuse. Also you he really cared and loved you he'd want you to do what ever makes you happy and support you. Perhaps he feels that with your new boobs they you will change. At any rate if my husband was being a jerk I'd still get my breast and he'll have to deal with it or move on..because I wouldn't want to be with someone who tries to control me and stop from being happy. That's my 2 cents.
Good luck with you. Hope he stops making feel this way.

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Old 07-27-2015, 04:25 AM
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He sounds very jealous. You said he would get upset by you being in work clothes dropping off his lunch. Trying to get you fired is really over the top and an over reaction.

If you haven't already talk to him and explain what it means to you.

If it was me I would choose ba over marriage/serious relationship because surgery is the only way to change certain things like loose excess skin, sagging, lack of volume. If I had to live being unhappy and self conscious for the rest of my life I would end up resenting hubby/fiancée/boyfriend. We all should feel comfortable with ourselves and if we aren't we should do something about it whether it be eating right and working out or cosmetic surgery/dentistry.

I hope that you both sort through this.

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Old 07-27-2015, 04:28 AM
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Sorry I re read and you said he won't let you talk and shuts you down.

Try writing a letter with everything you want to say.

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Old 07-27-2015, 02:49 PM
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I'm really sorry you are going through this. I hope it is a case of temporary insanity on his part and not the beginning of abusive behavior. I am sending you lots of hugs! I hope you do what will make you happiest.

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Old 07-30-2015, 11:40 PM
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I started a thread like this a while back! I went through the very same thing... My husband was a very insecure man at the time and I never understood it because he's so attractive. He's known women from the past to "change" after BA and become slutty and different then before breasts. I was his wife and he loved me and was very scared that he would lose me. I had to reassure him that this was to gain my body back since I did have nice boobs before it wasn't like i never knew what it was like to have huge boobs. That I loved him and it wasn't going to change our love by any means. I thought It was silly that he expected the worst from me but in his shoes I can understand why he felt that way. I remember him saying some awful things but after sitting him down and telling him how I felt he apologized! I'm 3 weeks post op and he is in love and has even shown them to friends(yeah, insane!) he was completely opposite before it! I also kept to my word and I don't show my tits to everyone and they are not in everyone's face all the time. since my reason was doing it for me and not feeling the need for everyone to see.I know how important it is to you! I'm sure your husband will realize he overreacted and will apologize. Love on him and like the ladies said baby him he needs it!! If he still keeps on after you pouring out how much this means to you after reassuring him I would put my foot down!! I did actually have to get ugly once with my husband after me doing everything possible. Go through with it I'm telling you, everything will be fine
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Old 07-31-2015, 05:34 AM
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I'm going to be completely blunt and honest here: this does NOT surprise me at all.

My husband's ex-wife had a BA and literally before she was even out of bandages, she had cheated on him and left him.

Then when it came down to me having a BA I was quite concerned he would become very controlling and mean. At first he was EXTREMELY supportive, but as the days got closer and closer, my fear was accurate.

I'll be a year post-op tomorrow and he and I have discussed this before. He has explained to me that while he does love you, he fears you will leave him.

Remember, you are NOT the only one going through a big change- this is a big deal for him as well. His wife is getting ready to undergo a big physical change and that can be quite intimidating.

I personally don't feel he is being abusive, but rather just scared.

Keep reassuring your husband that you love him. That you aren't going anywhere. That this change is also for HIM as well.

Your husband found you beautiful before surgery, he loved you before surgery, and he will love you afterwards. But there will be a big adjustment period.

Like I said previously, just remind yourself that you are not the only one going through a big change and that this impacts him as well.
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Old 01-12-2021, 12:51 PM
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And can there be irreparable consequences after breast augmentation?
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Old 01-18-2021, 10:35 AM
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This is not normal. If a man is leading you like this, leave him. What does he care about your boobs?! If he married you and you had small boobs, then why demand an increase? This is wrong. Let him read about couples breakup . It would be another matter if he didn't arrange such quarrels over it. Why is he speaking about the divorce if you want to get bigger boobs too? It seems to me that you need to think about whether to stay with such a man or find another. Man who will like your boobs and who will protect you.
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