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I just wanna be pretty. WAHHHHH!!!!

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Old 02-09-2012, 06:04 PM
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I just wanna be pretty. WAHHHHH!!!!

What has happened to me?!

Before kids I thought I was the best thing ever (maybe not literally, but you know!)...fun girl, could keep up with the guys but had a sexy and fun flirty edge, where has that gone?!?!

Was it marriage? kids? I need to feel pretty again! I want to turn heads again (I'm happily married, but a look or two never hurt anyone!!)

I went from dressing cute and caring to not caring in a pair of jeans and a loose fitted shirt and flip flops. While taking 10 minutes to get myself ready and out the door is nice, I really do miss being and looking like a fun outgoing girl!! ((

BOOOOO I wanna cry. Is it possible to have postpartum depression 3 years after giving birth? If so, I can officially diagnose myself with it. I just spent how much on boobs and feel worse now about my look than I did before surgery.

What do you do to feel pretty? What style clothes do you wear? Do you wear make-up? If so, what kind? Anything you do to stay in shape? Do anything fun and sexy with your hair?? Any other regimens to help preserve your youthfulness? Fill me in ladies...I want to feel like a pretty girl again!!!
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Old 02-09-2012, 06:40 PM
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I wear MAC and Bobby Brown makeup. some days I love 'scrappy' jeans. Lighter wash denim with rips in them. A sexy top and heels. Other days I want to be all glammed up. I love Bebe clothes. Tops by Karv (usually found at jeans stores). I love classy leather jackets. For hair I like a lot of messy updo's. Some days I wear it sleek. Other days I break out the hot rollers. Oh and big chunky earrings.

I live in heels. They make me feel feminine. Surgery is probably messing with your emotions right now. When u feel up to it, go for a pedicure and pick a flashy color. Always perks me up for some reason.

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Old 02-09-2012, 07:15 PM
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makeup is makeup..and thats coming from a makeup artist...if want to go spend crazy amounts on money thats fine but theres makeup out there u can buy that doesnt have to cost so much..your young doll go get ur nails , and hair done. go into ur closet and pull out them heels and nice clothes that we both know are far bk in the closet>> an take time aside for just some alone time with u and ur hubby, dinner, a movie..something..

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Old 02-09-2012, 07:24 PM
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There is a lot to be said for a woman who puts her family before her looks. I totally get what you mean about wanting to look good, but it's hard when you're toting around little ones, doing laundry, making meals, cleaning the house, etc. Maybe you could have a date night once a month and go all out on your hair and makeup. I guess I have gotten past worrying about how I look all the time because I know there are so many more important things for me to think about. When I was younger, it would take me over an hour to get ready to go out. I don't have that kind of time, but if I did, I most likely would not spend it primping myself. I never wear makeup, sometimes I do my hair, but I do take time to workout. It keeps me sane.
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Old 02-09-2012, 07:39 PM
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Originally Posted by envy needles View Post
makeup is makeup..and thats coming from a makeup artist...if want to go spend crazy amounts on money thats fine but theres makeup out there u can buy that doesnt have to cost so much..your young doll go get ur nails , and hair done. go into ur closet and pull out them heels and nice clothes that we both know are far bk in the closet>> an take time aside for just some alone time with u and ur hubby, dinner, a movie..something..
Nice to know about the make up!!! I just always assumed the expensive stuff was the best stuff! I don't wear makeup and never have (not even in my younger funner days), but I feel ugly and old....I need it now!! A date night sounds like such fun, but I am a over bearing mom and won't leave my children with anyone! I have been out alone four times with my husband since having children (four of our five anniversaries) all four times they where with my parents and I told them they could NOT leave the house! LOL! I am overly protective with my babies!!

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Old 02-09-2012, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Katie84 View Post
There is a lot to be said for a woman who puts her family before her looks. I totally get what you mean about wanting to look good, but it's hard when you're toting around little ones, doing laundry, making meals, cleaning the house, etc. Maybe you could have a date night once a month and go all out on your hair and makeup. I guess I have gotten past worrying about how I look all the time because I know there are so many more important things for me to think about. When I was younger, it would take me over an hour to get ready to go out. I don't have that kind of time, but if I did, I most likely would not spend it primping myself. I never wear makeup, sometimes I do my hair, but I do take time to workout. It keeps me sane.
I hear ya on that one! I have so many friends that manage to do it all, and I just don't understand how they do it! Make up, hair, working out, a job, multiple little ones, tanning...I seriously don't know how they do it! Between my two kids, school, ballet, Church, ect...I barely have enough time to take a shower it seems. Maybe one day I'll figure out how to juggle my time wisely.
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Old 02-09-2012, 08:35 PM
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How old are you kids sweetie?

My kids are in school now and and it took me until they went to school (actually about a year or more after) to figure myself back out.

If you can go buy yourself a couple cute tops to go with a pair of jeans. Casual stuff since you are still caring for little ones. Casual can be adorable. Layering can be your friend it looks adorable. A sweep of lip gloss, mascara and a little blush and maybe even eye shadow can make you feel like a million bucks. Also if you dressing casual get a cute chunky pair of earrings and a necklace. Accessorize...it can make you feel fun and funky. I even mix it up with a hat once in a while. Oh and spritz of body splash or perfume always makes me feel pretty.

You can do it girl! Reclaim your girlyness and you will feel great! Be easy on yourself though. Raising kids is difficult and life changing....I let myself get lost and that wasn't good because I wound up really unhappy. I have worked really hard this last year to do things that make me happy and to try and ditch the guilt and it has made me a better Mommy and wife.

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Old 02-09-2012, 08:39 PM
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I went through this, it was mostly from not getting out enough. I have a 3 and 5 year old that keep me pretty busy. I also workout so it's hard to find a reason to put on makeup after. I started getting my hair and nails done again and that has made a world of difference! Hubby and I have been going on dates more and I feel so much better about myself! Hugs!
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Old 02-09-2012, 08:55 PM
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Inhope, I had a hard time at 27-28 without kids so I can't imagine kids at 22 and trying to figure myself out! My advice is to try new things that you've thought "not my style" and it may get u out of the funk and u might like it. I tried Zumba and for an uncoordinated white girl, I think I can shake it pretty good now! It helped me get my confidence back (and lose a few lbs too!).
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Old 02-10-2012, 07:02 AM
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Originally Posted by turbofiremama View Post
How old are you kids sweetie?
....
You can do it girl! Reclaim your girlyness and you will feel great! Be easy on yourself though. Raising kids is difficult and life changing....I let myself get lost and that wasn't good because I wound up really unhappy. I have worked really hard this last year to do things that make me happy and to try and ditch the guilt and it has made me a better Mommy and wife.
My youngest just turned three today and the oldest is 18 months older. They are still quite young....and I know they consume a lot of my time and energy, but I see other girls keeping up with themselves and I want to, too!
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Old 02-10-2012, 07:04 AM
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Originally Posted by XXstephiXX View Post
I went through this, it was mostly from not getting out enough. I have a 3 and 5 year old that keep me pretty busy. I also workout so it's hard to find a reason to put on makeup after. I started getting my hair and nails done again and that has made a world of difference! Hubby and I have been going on dates more and I feel so much better about myself! Hugs!
I know I don't get out enough and there is really no reason to get done up if you're just going to be home all day. I have never colored my hair or anything or got my nails done. I think prom (6 years ago) was the last time I got a mani/pedi! How sad is that!!! LOL!
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Old 02-10-2012, 07:11 AM
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This is in no way pointing the finger...but start flirting with the DH again! Do it subtly around the kids...call him in the middle of the day..send him racey (sp) photos...

No for yourself...hair nails and make-up...clothes...heels and jewelry are all girly girly necessities.. I try to paint my nails once a week.. Essie and OPI are really good brands..a bit costly but they will last you!!

I'm a hippy girl...as in my hips are wide..not the other way...no disrespect, but I love skinny jeans to show off my behind...I mean that is what I am working with right now!

Go to the MAC counter and have them make you over? Go into Macy's and ask someone to pick out an outfit for you and pick 3 things (within your budget) to take home! Introduce yourself to someone randomly!

Think about how successful you are and what you have been thorugh and where you are now!

Take up a new hobby...
Make a list of everything that you love about yourself...
Start a self-reflection blog...
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Old 02-10-2012, 10:29 AM
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Originally Posted by TwinCity View Post
This is in no way pointing the finger...but start flirting with the DH again! Do it subtly around the kids...call him in the middle of the day..send him racey (sp) photos...

No for yourself...hair nails and make-up...clothes...heels and jewelry are all girly girly necessities.. I try to paint my nails once a week.. Essie and OPI are really good brands..a bit costly but they will last you!!

I'm a hippy girl...as in my hips are wide..not the other way...no disrespect, but I love skinny jeans to show off my behind...I mean that is what I am working with right now!

Go to the MAC counter and have them make you over? Go into Macy's and ask someone to pick out an outfit for you and pick 3 things (within your budget) to take home! Introduce yourself to someone randomly!

Think about how successful you are and what you have been thorugh and where you are now!

Take up a new hobby...
Make a list of everything that you love about yourself...
Start a self-reflection blog...

I think a lot of my problem is not feeling pretty. Just feeling blah about myself. I feel fat, I feel gross, unattractive. I guess maybe that comes along with being a mom? I don't know...but I hate feeling like this. Shopping for clothes is depressing to me, I feel gross in nearly everything. I have never colored my hair. I'll paint my own nails, but wont waste the money getting them done...especially with the kids. I have curly hair which can be frizzy and I feel so yucky with it. I don't know...guess I am having an early mid life crisis.

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Old 02-13-2012, 10:19 AM
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I know how you feel...I have curly hair too and sometimes it feels like if my hair is not done or frizzy, i cannot feel pretty =( I've learned how to style it straight and I've learned some curly styles without frizz. It just depends on what products you use. You can learn, it just takes practice...Youtube helped me a ton learn how to blowdry and flatiron and now it only takes me about 20 min to straighten......practice makes perfect, lol! A really good book to read about our hair is called Curlygirls by Lorraine Massey, it changed the way I feel about my hair! Once my hair is done, a little makeup and a cute top makes a huge difference! I hope this helps =) You can do it!!!!

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Old 02-13-2012, 10:43 AM
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Girl I feel you!!!

I am so exhausted and stressed out by the end of the day I just don't give a f***!

But that being said I feel like crap and wish I looked how I did 5 years ago! My tights and a tank are my everyday clothes and I manage to do the basic makeup but my hair ruins everything! lol I have crazy curly, "Shakira" hair and it takes forever to do (like at least an hour of work and it might last till 5pm). So it is usually tied up in a messy bun or ponytail.

So I am planning on treating myself next month to get my hair ionized (professionaly straightened - I've done this before) and get my hair cut and coloured.

Considering going back to Gel nails too!

I feel I need a real mommy makeover to feel better about myslef, especially with summer coming!

Maybe you need to do a little makeover for yourself too
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Old 02-13-2012, 11:58 AM
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Girl you are wayyyy too young to feel this way! I am going to be 44 and I get my nails done at least once a month, have my hair colored every 8 weeks and just had extensions put in!
That is not healthy for you, your kids or especially your marriage to have only gone out with hubby 4 times. Get out there and pamper yourself! And never stop! I promise you won't ever regret it

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Old 02-13-2012, 12:57 PM
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~!!! I kind of get how your felling, im turning 22 in march and my son is about 15 months. Ever since going through pregnancy, getting huge, and just dressing like a bum because I never thought I loooked cute pregnant .. I think in the last 6 months i started getting myself back. I go on youtube, watch makeup videos. try it out on my face. look at fashion websites. go to the mall once a week to buy some cute clothes. I think buying yourself nice stuff will make u feel good and youll want to wear them and dress cute.

I honestly loveeee makeup from sephora and mac, it makes your facce look fab and LASTS forever. + whenver u buy it u just want to come home and doll yourself up. Your still young girl! I hope u get back into your groove ...

O and the most IMPORTANT thing is to MAKE time for yourself no matter what. Even if that means having daddy watch the kids for an hour while your getting ready.. once you start making time for yourself if when you will feel good and get to do what YOU want for a change
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Old 02-13-2012, 02:07 PM
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You ladies are all so sweet and encouraging! I am pretty afraid of dying my hair...but I really should try to incorporate cute clothes and make up into my style. I know a couple of you suggested youtube videos, do you have any specific ones that are your favorite??

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Old 02-13-2012, 02:09 PM
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You have gotten a lot of great advise. Its hard to be a mommy all day long every day and it gets easy to lose that part of yourself that feels like a pretty, fun, flirty woman. I remember those days well. It was a treat if I was able to go to the bathroom without someone knocking on or crying at the door, hubby included!

I've not been one to wear makeup all the time. I find it such a hassle. But I must admit when I do take the time to put on even a little bit, it makes me feel as though I care enough about myself to do a little something extra and that feels great.

I'm at the age now where I have the time to do make up and fix my hair, but I really don't care to do it every single day. I am fine with a clean face, hair pulled back into a pony tail and sweatpants with a t-shirt. I have boobs now and look pretty cute in just about anything, so even a t with sweats is great.

But I still like to feel sexy and fun and have lots of fun doing things for myself that my husband will enjoy. Today I am wearing some new red underwear and matching camisole. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, but I'm going to surprise DH tonight. All day today, knowing what's underneath my sweats, I have felt fun and sexy. Its such a little thing, but has already had a big impact on my day and will make my hubby's day end with a smile.

The more you can claim moments for yourself that are all about you, not you as a mom, you will feel better and start to reclaim that fun, sexy lady you are missing. She's in there, get her a manicure and a new lip gloss and some fun and sexy new underwear.

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Old 02-13-2012, 02:25 PM
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First of all, you are already cute by your personality, I can already tell!!

Making time for yourself is important. I have done a lot of work to figure out what my true priorities are. And here it is:

1. My relationship with Jesus, becoming more like him
2. My physical health! If my physical health is not in check, my mental health is a nooooootttt where it needs to be. If my nutrition & exercise is out of whack, my entire life is out of whack. I am hypoglycemic, so let's just say, I am not nice to anyone if my nutritional needs are not met.
3. family
etc.

I felt guilty thinking I could put my health as #2, until I realized that when I do that, I am a better person to everyone!! My husband, my family, my career, the people I coach, etc.

Now I realize, if I do not take care of my nutrition/exercise, I am not actually being a good steward to the people I care about.

So how does this relate to your question? I also realized that when my nutrition & exercise are in check, I FEEL PRETTIER. I can look physically exactly the same, and if I'm not working out, I am unhappy with how I look, and if I am working out (I'm not even talking like heavy hardcore working out, I'm talking like a simple Pilates class of something, you can even just do baby & me yoga front home, anything to get your body moving), I think I look like a million bucks lol. It's ALL mental. The endorphins are a total rush!

So, take the time to make yourself feel good and balanced in the physical aspect (nutrition/movement). Your entire outlook on everything will improve dramatically!

Love,
Health Coach A

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